


Past and Present

by jareauisles



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 22,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2048460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jareauisles/pseuds/jareauisles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jennifer Jareau was a woman who had many secrets. An astonishing past and extraordinary present. What happens when they both collide?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reminders Of The Past

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in Season 7, Will & Henry never happened.

Jennifer Jareau sat in her office mulling over her life. None of the team knew about her past and they certainly didn’t know what she was doing now. She was exhausted with what she had been doing for the last year but it was certainly better than what she done years ago before the FBI. She quickly shook herself of her thoughts and her heart fluttered slightly when Hotch entered her office.

“Hey JJ, we have a case, conference room in 5.” he said quickly.

“But I didn’t-“ she started.

“I know, this one went straight to me, its serious.” he replied.

She nodded “I understand.” she replied and he quickly strode off towards the conference room.

She made her way to the conference room confidently and as she entered the conference room, no one was there yet except for Hotch. She sat down and opened the file in front of her and what she saw made her pale and her stomach churn.

She quickly composed herself before any of the team walked in and asked what was wrong. She didn’t have long as they all entered and sat down. Hotch began to speak.

“3 of the most dangerous Al-Qaeda terrorists in the world have escaped from one of the highest security prisons. They managed to smuggle revolvers into the prison. We don’t know how yet but they done it and managed to escape on the way to a transfer to another high security prison. They were being moved to free up space. They killed 10 guards between them in the process. We suspect that they have been planning this a while.”

“Why is this a BAU case?” asked Morgan, slightly confused.

“The CIA and the Secret Service wants all the help they can get-“

“Why is the Secret Service involved?” Emily cut him off.

“They found a plot to assassinate President Obama in one of the terrorists, Ali Hamba’s, cell. It was marked into a brick under his bed. It isn’t fully complete but it is a worry.” Hotch replied.

Inside JJ was crumbling. Ali Hamba, Muhammad Hosi and Yusar Lafar. The 3 Al-Qaeda terrorists she had hunted all over the world and put away in prison had escaped. ‘Shit, shit, shit. This is not good’ she thought. The odds of this happening were…well she wasn’t quite sure, Reid would probably know but she knew they were slim. They were in one of the highest security prisons in the world. Outside she looked the picture of composure, after all that was how the CIA had taught her. JJ had worked for the CIA for five years before joining the FBI. Of course no one knew. She had been the top spy in the CIA. She had joined the FBI for a change and it had been a good one. She now had a team who were her family. She wasn’t alone like she was back then. Hotch shook her of her thoughts when he spoke.

“We’ll be based in a building with the rest of the agencies in Washington DC so wheel s up in 30” he said. 

JJ retreated to her office to regain all of her composure and suddenly the phone rang.

“Agent Jareau.” she answered.

“JJ, it’s James, I know we haven’t spoken in years but have you seen the news.” the man replied quickly.

“Wow! James? As in James Mason?” she asked slightly stunned he was calling.

“Yeah, it’s me. So have you seen it?” he repeated.

“Yeah, well turns out my team here in the FBI are working with the CIA and the Secret Service to help catch them.” she replied casually.

“JJ, you gotta be careful, these guys could be after you.” he replied worriedly. 

“James, I’m a big girl I can take care of myself.” she shot back defensively.

“Yeah, I know that, I mean you were the CIA’s finest spy but I can’t help but worry. I heard that a team from the FBI were coming to Washington, it’s not you is it? he asked slightly excitedly.

“Yeah, that would be me, I guess we’ll be seeing each other again.” she replied.

“I guess we will.” he replied.

There was a pause. “I’ll see you soon James.” She disconnected the call and made her way to board the jet with the rest of the team.


	2. The Journey

On the jet JJ sat quietly skimming over the file in front of her along with the rest of the team except she didn’t need to read them to know what these 3 men were like. Garcia suddenly popped up on the screen on the laptop.

“Hello, my pretties, I have some information for you.” she grinned.

“Yes Garcia?” I asked impatiently, I regretted it as soon as I said it as all of them looked at me curiously at my impatient tone. ‘Just great. You’re trying the avoid suspicion you idiot’ JJ thought, she just ignored them and looked back at the screen to Garcia.

“These 3 terrorists were in the same Al-Qaeda cell and turns out the CIA sent in one of their spies to infiltrate it and they succeeded as that’s what led to their arrests along with several others. The agent was undercover for 11 months” she informed.

“That’s a hell of a long time to be undercover, the longest I was undercover was 5 months” Emily mused.

“Wait? They sent the agent in alone?” Hotch asked slightly bewildered.

“Yes, she was alone the whole time except she had a contact to inform her of what was happening on the outside but they only contacted by telephone so she wouldn’t break her cover.” she explained.

“Garcia, does this agent have a name?” Emily asked.

“Yes, but it seems like a cover, it’s Jessica Walsh” Garcia replied.

JJ breathed a slight sigh of relief that they hadn’t gotten her name; she wasn’t ready to tell them about her past yet. She was still dealing with what had happened in that time. The only reason she hadn’t told them before was to protect them. She knew that her enemies could resurface and find her again and she didn’t want her team used as leverage against her. 

“We need to find the name of that undercover agent.” Hotch stated. JJ sucked in a breath. 

“On it sir, Garcia out!” replied Garcia.

‘Fuck! I’m going to have to tell them soon’ JJ thought. She wanted to be able to tell them herself not have them find out through Garcia.

“JJ, are you ok? You look a little pale.” Hotch asked concerned.

She felt herself smile a little that he was so worried about her. “Yes, Hotch I’m fine.” she waved it off. He raised his eyebrow. At seeing his sceptical look she said “Honestly Hotch, I’m good.” She gave him one of her dazzling smiles. Hotch felt his heart skip when she smiled at him like that. 

JJ made her way to the toilet on the jet and as soon as the door was locked the team started talking.

“Is JJ ok? I’ve noticed she’s a little off.” asked Reid

“I’m not sure but if there is anything I’m sure she’ll tell us when she’s ready.” said Rossi, not feeling comfortable talking about her behind her back.

“Yeah, Rossi’s right, let’s focus on catching these bastards” agreed Hotch, truth was he was slightly concerned about JJ after seeing her looking pale but he didn’t think it was anything serious.

When JJ returned she felt their gazes on her as if studying her. “Guys, I know you were talking about me, but seriously I’m fine, I just feel a little sick but I’ll-“ she was cut off when Garcia returned on the screen.

“Who’s sick? JJ’s sick? JJ are you ok? You don’t have food poisoning do you, because then you should be here. OH MY GOD! YOU’RE PREGNANT AREN’T YOU, ahhhh I know, you have a mystery man and your pregnant! Wait, is it Hotch? Is Hotch the-“

JJ cut her off and blushed when she heard the part about Hotch. “PENELOPE!” she shouted. Garcia went silent. “I’m definitely NOT pregnant, I just feel a little queasy.” JJ finished.

Garcia looked at her sceptically. “Really? You’re sure?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m 100% sure!” JJ laughed. 

“So did you call for a reason or just to tell me I’m pregnant.” JJ grinned playfully.

“Well, my blond bombshell” Garcia replied. JJ rolled her eyes at the name. “I just called to let you know that I should have the name of that agent in about an hour.”

JJ tried to keep herself composed. “Ok, thanks Pen.” 

“Garcia out!” she replied.

JJ knew she was going to have to tell them but it was going to be hard. Hopefully James could help her. James. She smiled slightly at the thought of him. He had been her only contact during that mission. Then after that mission ended they were partnered together for 3 months. He was an extremely good looking man and overall nice guy. They had to act as a couple on a lot of missions and one night after a long and tiring mission they ended up sleeping together. They then started a sort of friends with benefits type relationship. After a mission ended they would have sex to relieve stress. It worked well especially as they were spies and didn’t have a social life. JJ couldn’t complain. It was one of the more fun things she done during her time with the CIA. 

“JJ” Hotch said.

He shook her out of her thoughts.

“JJ” he said louder this time.

“Yes?” she replied

“Are you sure you’re ok? You spaced out there for a minute.” he asked slightly worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking” she said with a smile.

“Ok.” He said not really believing she was fine. “You know I’m always here for you.” he finished as he gently intertwined her hand with his.

“Yeah, I know Hotch, I know” she smiled. She looked down at their joined hands as they descended upon Washington DC.


	3. Meeting James

The team exited the jet and JJ climbed into the SUV along with Hotch and Morgan. JJ stole a glance towards Hotch whilst he was driving to their destination. 

She started to think about the relationship she had with her boss. When she first started at the BAU, they would spend 2 hours after work looking through case files together. 

After a month or so she saw another side to the man. He would smile and laugh more than she’s ever seen. The more time they spent in his office after work, the more she would see the real Hotch. She soon viewed him as a good friend rather than her stoic boss.   
She was pretty sure she was developing feelings for him, however there were many obstacles in the way. Hotch had given no indication that her had romantic feeling for her. Also, he was her boss, she was his subordinate and dating was against the rules. Her CIA past, she was certain, would change his view of her. Also, with what she was doing right now in her life she didn’t know if she had time for any kind of relationship. 

Finally, they arrived at a tall building. The team exited their SUVs and walked towards the building. As they entered, they saw the place was packed with agent from different agencies. JJ notice some of the Secret Service agents, she just hoped they didn’t notice her. She definitely wasn’t ready to tell them about that. The team made their way to the 4th floor and opened the door to a relatively small room. They were greeted by a tall and extremely handsome man with brown hair. He was wearing a crisp white shirt and grey dress   
trousers with black leather shoes. JJ calmed her nerves as James walked towards them along with another man.

“Hi, I’m Agent Mason and this is Agent Fray. We’re with the CIA. You must be the BAU team?” James greeted.

“Hi. Yes. I’m Agent Hotchner, these are Agents Rossi, Prentiss, Reid, Morgan and Jareau.” Hotch replied.

“JJ!” He tried to sound surprised at seeing her, not sure what her team knew.

“Hey James, good to see you again.” she said with a smile. The pair shared a quick hug and then separated. Hotch felt a surge of jealousy spark through him when JJ hugged the man. ‘Stop it Hotch.’ he scolded himself.

“So, how do you guys know each other?” wondered Emily.

“Old friends.” JJ replied quickly before James could reply, before Emily could question it. Three people appeared in the door way. A middle aged woman along with 2 younger men who appeared to be checking JJ out Morgan noticed. Hotch felt another surge of jealousy also seeing this.

“Are you with BAU team from the FBI?” the woman asked.

“Yes, that’s us. Agent Hotchner.” he stuck out his hand and introduced the rest of the team as she shook it. 

“I’m Agent Benson, these are Agents West and Young we’re with the Secret Service. Glad to be working with you. We should get started.”

All of the agents sat around the table and began to work. 

\-----

Everyone had been working for an hour trying to come up with something when JJ’s phone rang. Seeing who it was she immediately put it on speaker.

“Do you have that name yet Garcia?” JJ asked slightly worried. She still didn’t know how to tell them. She spent the last hour trying to gather up some courage.

“Oh Gumdrop, I’ll get on to that in a minute. What’s it like with all the agents and stuff? And oooh, are there any super hot-”

“GARCIA!” JJ shouted to get her attention.

“I’m on speaker with everyone there again aren’t I?” Garcia ask in a tone as if she already knew the answer.

“Yep.” JJ answered simply.

“Damn, I’ve got to stop doing that!” There was a pause of silence. “So are there any super hot, super sexy agents there?” she grinned over the phone. This received chuckles from everyone in the room.

“Well there is the CIA agent called James that JJ knew already.” Emily answered teasingly.

“WHAT!” “JJ you know a super hot, super sexy CIA agent and YOU DIDN’T TELL US!” Garcia screamed

“You didn’t tell them about me JJ, I’m hurt.” James said clutching his chest feigning hurt remember the banter they had.

“Oh shut up you goof.” JJ said as she threw her pen at him equally remembering. The room laughed. Hotch’s was strained when he saw the comfortable relationship the two had.

“So Garcia, do you have anything?” Reid asked after the room had calmed down.

“Yes, I do but it’s strange, I think it’s a mistake in the system.” Garcia started. JJ’s heart literally thumped out of her chest preparing herself for what Garcia was about to say.


	4. Stress

“I have literally everything about the agent you asked me to find except her name. It’s like someone or something’s stopping me from accessing it.” Garcia finished with confusion.   
Weird, the room thought, everyone except JJ who breathed a small sigh of relief and glanced at James wondering if he had anything to do with it, she knew how good he was with technology. “However, I can give you everything I have on her, which isn’t a lot but it is incredibly impressive.”

“What agent is this?” Agent Fray asked.

“The agent who went undercover to infiltrate-“ Hotch began. 

“Oh right, yeah, but we already have our agents working on that.” Fray replied in confusion.

“Yes, but Garcia is the best of the best. If anyone can find her, she can.” Morgan replied.

“Why can’t the CIA just look in their database for the agent? Would she not be on the mission reports and paperwork?” Agent West asked Fray as Agents Benson and Young nodded in agreement and equal confusion.

Garcia interrupted before Fray could answer. “I might be able to help you with that. The files don’t say much but what they do say is that every mission this agent went on, during their 5 years with the CIA, were highly classified, top secret and of extremely high security clearance. The files show she used tons of aliases and completed missions all around the world from right here in America to Russia to Asia and many more. As I mentioned before with the security clearance being as it is, I can’t access any details of the missions. Also, there are no gaps between missions. It goes from one ending to another starting a couple of days later.” Garcia said. JJ’s hands were slightly shaking now, she wasn’t sure from what, nerves, stress, worry. 

They all just sat there slightly stunned for a moment.

“This is impressive even by CIA standards.” Emily admitted.

“Garcia said there were no gaps. This woman obviously never took a break in-between missions, she was all go, non-stop for 5 years.” Ross noticed, his profiler skills coming to the forefront after his initial shock.

“It certainly is impressive.” Morgan said as Reid nodded in agreement.

“Yeah.” was all JJ could say so she wouldn’t be silent for too long.

“That’s one hell of an agent from one CIA agent to another.” Fray mused also impressed.

“Yes, I have to agree, that is some spy.” Benson said as West and Young nodded in agreement.

“We have to get the name of that agent one way or another. Good work Garcia, keep looking.” Hotch said. 

“Sure thing boss-man, Garcia out!” she replied and disconnected the call.

“I think we can head back to the hotel for the night. We need some rest. Maybe we’ll get something new in the morning.” Hotch said as everyone left leaving JJ and James standing alone in the room. JJ walked over to James.

“Did you stop Garcia from discovering my name?” she asked, still curious.

He shrugged. “I figured you hadn’t told them and I knew you would want to tell them yourself not have it coming out through your technical analyst.” he told her with a smile.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” she told him genuinely.

“No problem partner.” he winked, she rolled her eyes.

“God, I’m stressed.” she groaned.

“You know, that was our code back in the day, to say to each other we were ‘stressed’ after a mission but what it really meant was that we wanted to have sex.” He grinned cheekily.

She swatted his arm. “Yes, but in this case, I’m actually stressed.” His grin faltered slightly. “But, you never know, it could mean both.” she replied, winked and strutted off swaying her hips a little, leaving him standing with a dropped jaw behind her.

“You want to ride with me?” she called back over her shoulder.

\-----

“Do you want to come in for a drink?” James asked as they walked towards their hotel rooms.

“Sounds good.” replied JJ with a smile.

They entered his hotel room and he poured them both a glass of scotch. JJ sat crossed legged on the chair in front of him.

“So FBI huh?” he asked with a smirk.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I needed a change…don’t get me wrong, the CIA was great but some of the stuff I saw and done…” she trailed off, shuddering just thinking about it.

“Yeah, I hear you.” James raised his glass in agreement and took a sip. After a few moments of silence James continued. “We had some great times together though, post-missions.” he smiled, remembering the mind-blowing sex they had. 

JJ raised an eyebrow and stood up not sure where this was going. She knew how sexually compatible they were in the past. “Yeah, we did.” she replied. “But I’m not in the CIA anymore James.” she added. He was silent. “I’m going to go, thanks for the drink.” she said as she finished her scotch.

“True, you’re not in the CIA anymore but you’re still stressed.” he said just as she was walking towards the door. He stood up and walked towards her. “Maybe you need to relieve that stress.” he added.

“James” she whispered in a slightly warning tone.

Before JJ knew what was happening, suddenly she was back up against the door, James’ hands at either side of her head, his body pressed up against hers. She gasped at the contact. The heat and tension in the room was rising. Suddenly his head was moving towards hers, their lips meeting.


	5. Support

After a few minutes of kissing hungrily, JJ seemed to realise what she was doing when James moved his lips onto her neck. She was different now. She wasn’t the cold, calculated, deadly spy she was back then. She was a warm and caring FBI agent who brought justice to victims. She no longer needed the comfort of sex because she had people who cared about her now. She quickly pushed James away. 

“I’m sorry, James, I just can’t…I’m not the same person I was back then. I’m really sorry.” she explained as she left the room, missing the look of hurt and confusion across James’ face.

JJ walked briskly down the hallway, trying to get to her room, when she bumped into the man she did not want to see right now.

“JJ!” he exclaimed, surprised to see her.

“Hey, Hotch.” she whispered.

“Are you ok?” he asked concerned.

She forced a smile upon her face. “Yeah, I’m fine, I was just coming back from a walk, had to clear my head.” she lied.

“Oh, ok then.” he said, not believing her. “JJ, you know you can tell me anything right?” he added. “No matter what.” he finished with a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, I know Hotch.” she met his gaze. 

“Then what is going on with you? You’ve been on edge since we started this case and you are barely putting any input into the profile.” he said.

“I know and I’m really sorry Hotch. I don’t have an explanation right now but I will tomorrow.” She said sadly. “I just hope you don’t hate me afterwards.” she finished so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. But he did. 

“JJ, I..I would never-” he said shocked. “I could never hate you. You’re one of the best people I have in my life.” JJ didn’t look convinced. “Come here.” he said as he opened out his arm for a hug. Hesitantly she moved into his embrace and rested her head against his chest listening to his heartbeat. Hotch breathed in the scent of her hair and pulled her closer. She sighed loudly, knowing this could be the last time he would ever see her as sweet, innocent, JJ. 

They stayed in the embrace for a few more moments until JJ pulled away but Hotch grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. “I promise, whatever is going on I could never hate you. Ever.” he said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” She muttered whilst squeezing his hand. “You should get some sleep Hotch, you look tired.” she looked up and met his eyes and they connected. 

“What the hell is happening with us JJ?” he whispered brushing a stray hair behind her ear. 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before replying. “I don’t know Aaron.” She said and his breath hitched at hearing his first name coming from her lips. “But we’ll work it out. We always do.” She said as she tenderly kissed his cheek and walked away. Hotch watched her leaving until she turned the corner and disappeared out of sight.

\-----

The next morning Hotch call the team excluding JJ down to the chairs at the lobby 10 minutes early to discuss their blond profiler. As everyone arrived and Garcia popped up on   
the tablet, he began.

“Guys, I know you have all been worried about JJ. She’s been on edge and quieter than normal from the beginning of the case. We had a chat last night and I think she will explain   
everything later on today. I have absolutely no clue what it could be about so we have to be supportive no matter what.” he said.

“We understand Hotch. Do you think it’s anything serious?” Emily asked quietly.

“Honestly, it could be nothing…but it could be something huge. What I do know is she thinks we’ll hate her once she tells us.” he finished watching everyone’s reactions to this. Reid, Morgan, Emily and Garcia just looked shocked. Rossi’s expression remained the same.

“We could never hate her.” Reid said and Emily nodded in agreement. 

“She’s the glue that holds this team together, without her we’d be lost. She needs us right now no matter what it is she has to tell is.” Rossi said with conviction. They all nodded.

“So we’re in agreement that we will support and help JJ anyway we can.” Everyone nodded.

\-----

Elsewhere, back in JJ’s hotel room. She was extremely worried about what was going to happen. Would they hate her? Would they disown her from the team? Would she have to resign? The questions kept swirling around in her mind. She knew that half of her would always be the elite CIA spy but the other half would be the compassionate, caring FBI agent as well as the other business she was now involved in. 

She couldn’t think straight about James and Hotch. She knew she didn’t have feelings for James, they just had a great friendship especially for spies and used to have great sex.   
But she was getting the feeling that James had developed feelings for her and that was what she didn’t need. 

And of course Hotch. He was her rock, always there for her when she needed him. Always knowing what to do or say. Just like last night. She had to admit she was petrified. She could kill grown men without flinching but she couldn’t deal with feelings. The cardinal rule of spying, was ‘spies don’t fall in love’, she had that drilled into her for so long that she didn’t know if she would ever be able to overcome it. 

Taking a deep breath she walked out of the hotel room and headed down to the lobby. 

‘Oh crap!’ Hotch thought when he saw her walking towards them. She was wearing a crisp white button down shirt, a grey pencil skirt that hugged her figure and black heels which showed off her legs. Her hair was down and slightly wavy and she had light make-up on. She looked absolutely stunning. 

JJ saw Hotch, mouth agape staring at her and she couldn’t help the slight blush that rose to her cheeks as Rossi smirked in Hotch’s direction.

Clearing her throat. “You guys ready to go?” she asked.

“Yeah, let’s get to work.” Hotch said as he stopped gawking at her. 

The team left and made their way to work.


	6. Garcia

The team entered the room, just as James pulled JJ aside. 

“What the hell was that last night JJ?” he asked.

“Look, James, I’m sorry for leading you on ok, I can’t deny that the sex would probably have been great but I’ve changed a lot these last few years.” she half truthfully tells, she was not going to admit that it had partly been down to her feelings for Hotch that made her leave.

“I guess I understand but I have to admit that I did develop feelings for you whilst we were partners, I just never told you because I had been told for so long by the CIA that having feelings got you killed. Then suddenly after one mission you had left without saying so much as goodbye and I never heard from you again.” he said sadly. “I always regretted not telling you.” 

JJ was stunned into a silence, she did realise he had feelings for her back in those days. 

“James, I never realised.” she sighed. “ I was a lone wolf during my time with the CIA. You were my only partner I’d ever had and even then it was only for a few months. So, when I left for my next assignment I never looked back. That’s just who I was. I made no attachments, commitments and I never fully trusted anyone.” she admitted. Suddenly nervous she added. “Err, James can we talk more about this later, we have to get to work.” she stuttered and walked into the room. 

\-----

Half an hour later, and JJ was working up the courage to tell the team about her work with the CIA. ‘You can do this JJ’ she thought. ‘You’re a highly trained CIA spy and FBI agent,   
you can tell some friends about your past, it’s no big deal’ she though unconvincingly. 

Just as she was about to speak up, a flash of bright colours burst into the room. 

“Pen, what are you doing here?” JJ asked shocked.

Before Garcia could reply. Hotch stood up. “I asked her to fly in, she said she had some unbelievable information about the case and also you needed to tell us something so I thought she should be here.” Hotch answered JJ’s question. 

“Uh- o-okay then.” JJ replied still slightly shocked. Introductions were made to the other agents. 

“So what’s this about the case Baby Girl.” Morgan asked interested. JJ’s heart thudded out of her chest. Her eyes locked with Garcia’s and JJ knew she knew. ‘Shit’ she thought. ‘I didn’t want it to come out like this’. She was shook out of her thoughts by Garcia.

“In a minute my prince.” she replied to Morgan. “JJ, can I speak to you outside.” she added. JJ nodded and swallowed hard as she followed Garcia out of the room.

After a few minutes of Garcia pacing. “You know don’t you?” JJ asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.

Garcia just stared at her with anger in her eyes but that soon changed to compassion and sympathy when she saw the desperation and despair on JJ’s face. 

“Yes, I do, and I was mad on the whole flight over here. How could you not tell us JJ?” she asked her friend softly.

JJ eyes welled up with unshed tears that she willed to disappear. She had to be strong and tough. “I-“ her voice cracked.

“Oh gumdrop!” Garica said and pulled her friend into a tight hug. JJ couldn’t help but let a few tears fall before she wiped them away quickly. 

“Do you hate me Pen?” JJ whispered. 

“Oh, I could never hate you. I’m a little mad that you never told me but I could never hate you. You’re my best friend.” Garcia said with hurt in her voice that JJ never told her.

“I’ll explain why I didn’t tell you when I tell the rest of the team but it wasn’t because I don’t trust you or anything like that.” JJ said with conviction. “Will they hate me?” she nodded in the direction of the room.

“I’m not sure how they will react but I’m sure they won’t hate you. Hopefully they’ll understand after you explain your point of view.” Garcia said trying to bring JJ some hope.

“God, I hope so Pen, this whole thing has just turned to shit.” JJ said with a sigh.

Garcia noticing the dull mood. “On the bright side, my best friend was a totally awesome female James Bond!” she said with a huge grin.

JJ laughed in response. “Not quite but thanks for making me feel better Pen. I love you.” 

“What do you mean not quite!? From what I read out to you guys on your file, you were totally awesome. Everyone was impressed.” 

“Maybe. But they won’t be so impressed when they find out who it is.” JJ replied sadly.

“Gumdrop, just tell the truth and tell them your position and hopefully it will be ok.” She said as she hugged JJ and they walked back into the room. 

JJ cleared her throat and stayed standing as Garcia joined the rest of the team and agents. 

“Guys, I have something to tell you and you won’t like it. You’ll probably be mad and hate me after I tell you but you deserve to know.” she smiled sadly and continued.


	7. Telling The Team

“I was 21 years old when I graduated from University; I ended up being approached by someone a few days after graduation.” JJ said as the team listened intrigued. 

“The man that approached me was a CIA recruiter.” She paused watching the faces of the team who sat in front of her. “He recruited recently graduated students from various university’s that the CIA had been secretly watching over for months, if not years, who they thought would make potential spies.” she said. The teams expressions suddenly turned to shock as they were starting to put the pieces together. 

“I accepted their offer for 6 months hardcore CIA training and after the training I became a full-fledged CIA agent and spy. I ended up staying with the agency for 5 years.” The team just stared at her, unable to comprehend what she as saying. “My file says I completed FBI training in between jobs from the age of 21 to 26 but the CIA made that file up when I joined the FBI.” she finished.

JJ looked at the team’s reactions. Morgan looked shocked and a little angry, Reid looked stunned, Rossi sat with a black expression on his face. Emily just looked at JJ with understanding and Garcia had an encouraging look on her face. Hotch looked stoic as always but she could tell he was hurt behind his mask. She sighed. 

“Th-this is a j-joke ri-right?” Reid stuttered.

“Yeah, I mean, you were a spy. No way.” Morgan said with disbelief.

“No, I’m afraid it’s not a joke Spence.” JJ said sadly.

“I don’t believe it!” Rossi boomed suddenly.

“Look, it’s true and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys but please let me explain why.” JJ pleaded with tears in her eyes. The team looked at JJ and nodded allowing her to continue.

“In the CIA, you usually have various different partners during your time. But I was a lone wolf. I had one partner and that was only for 3 months because the CIA wanted to experiment with me. But other than that I was alone on all the missions.” The team were stunned again. “So, when I joined the FBI, I never thought I would get to know and love you guys. The CIA drill into you that emotions and feelings get you killed so I never thought I would feel anything for you. Little did I know that you guys would become my family.” she smiled at them. “By the time I had gotten to know you guys as friends and family, it was too late. I thought you would hate me for lying and I would lose you all.” JJ explained with unshed tears in her eyes. Morgan stormed out of the room in anger.

After a few minutes of the team sitting in silence processing everything, Morgan came back in a little calmer than before, he sat down again and JJ continued.

“Then it became about protecting you.” The room looked at her confused. “God, the amount of people I have killed, took down or had imprisoned, it’s a hell of a lot and I knew that people would want revenge and would be out for blood so I didn’t want the people closest to me being used as leverage in anyway so I kept quiet to protect you. You guys not knowing about my CIA past kept you safe.” 

“I guess I understand.” Rossi said after a few minutes of processing as Emily and Garcia nodded in agreement and understanding. 

“I’m still a little hurt and mad that you didn’t tell us but I think I get it. I mean I had my secrets that I didn’t want you all knowing as well.” Morgan said, not as angry as before. 

“So why are you telling us after all this time?” Hotch spoke for the first time, his expression blank, his tone harsh.

JJ took a deep breath. “I was the agent undercover with Hamba, Hosi and Lafar.” 

The team gasped in shock. 

“They could be after you JJ.” Hotch said more softly than before. 

“I know but I can take care of myself, I promise.” JJ replied confidently. “Do you guys hate me?” She asked a stray tear making its way down her face. 

“I can’t speak for these guys but I don’t hate you, I’m a little hurt but we all have secrets and you just shared your biggest one with us. Like I said last night I could never hate you.” Hotch looked at her with hurt and understanding in his eyes.

“Thank you.” she croaked, her voice full of emotion. Hotch seeing how emotional she was, stood up and gave her a tight hug as the team looked at the pair in shock at Hotch’s rare display of affection.

They broke away as Emily interrupted. “I’m the same as Hotch I’m just hurt, but I’ll get over it.” she said walking over and hugging her friend. The rest of the team done the same except Reid and Morgan.

“Reid.” she whispered with tears. 

“I’m sorry JJ, I don’t hate you but I also don’t know if I can get over this. I’m really hurt right now.” Reid explained.

JJ nodded. “I understand, I hope you can forgive me.” she said. “Morgan?”

“I’m not going to lie JJ, I’m angry right now but I understand and the anger will pass. I still love you girl.” he said. 

“Thanks guys and I am sorry, I hope you’ll be able to fully forgive me eventually.” she said with a sadness in her voice. 

“Ok, so we know about some of your CIA work because of what Garcia told us but let’s hear it from you.” Emily said slightly excited.


	8. The Spy Life

Before JJ could reply Reid cut in.

“JJ, you need to promise us that there will be no more secrets, I may be able to forgive if you can do that.” Reid said. He didn’t hate JJ, he was just hurt and upset that she kept a huge part of her life from him.

JJ sighed and turned her back. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She couldn’t tell them about what was currently happening. She was under strict orders to reveal nothing to no one, for the moment anyway.

“JJ?” Morgan prompted. He agreed with Reis, there could be no more secrets. 

She sighed again and turned back around. “Guys, I’ll be honest, I have some things going on at the moment.” The team went to interrupt but she held her hand up to stop them. 

“However, I can’t tell you and when I say I can’t I really mean I can’t. I’m under strict orders and even if I wasn’t I’m not sure you should know.” she held her hand up again when they went to protest. “This is some serious shit and you don’t need to be mixed up in it but if I’m ever allowed to tell you, I promise you I will. You deserve that.” She said passionately. Even if she didn’t want them to know, she would tell them, they were her family.

“Ok, I think that’s fair. JJ obviously isn’t allowed to say anything so we need to respect that.” Hotch said with conviction. The others nodded, confident the blond would come to them in the future but they were going to keep an eye on her. 

“So gumdrop, tell me about your life as the female James Bond!” Garcia said excitedly bouncing in her seat. Even though she was hurt about the situation she couldn’t help but be proud of her best friend. The rest of the team chuckled along with the secret service agents and Agent Fray who were clearly intrigued by JJ’s story. Whilst James stood there with a slight smile admiring JJ’s bravery and confidence to tell her team.

JJ sat down in the seat and sighed. “Garcia, I was just a regular spy-“

James cut her off with a snort. “Yeah, right.” He said disbelievingly as JJ blushed at the praise. She didn’t handle compliments well. 

“What?” Rossi asked interested in the current situation.

“Yeah, how do you two know each other?” Emily asked.

JJ sighed. “Remember the agent I was partnered with for 3 months that I told you about.” The team nodded. “Well, James was the partner and also my only contact whilst on the undercover operation.” JJ said. 

The teams mouths formed ‘o’ shapes. ‘Great, they’re stunned again’ JJ thought with an eye roll. “Uhh, guys?” She snapped her fingers to get their attention.

“Oh sorry, just trying to process.” Morgan said.

“So you, were partnered with this Hunkilicious goddess of a man for 3 months?!” Garcia exclaimed taking in the man before her. Everyone laughed except Hotch who scowled. He didn’t want to think of JJ and this man together he thought as jealousy cursed through him.

“Yes Garcia.” JJ half sighed and half laughed.

“What did you mean when you said ‘yeah right’?” Morgan asked now intrigued by the petite blond woman in front of him. He had to admit, it was pretty cool she was a spy. 

“Well JJ said she was just a regular spy but she wasn’t.” at seeing the curious faces and JJ about to protest he continued. “She was the top spy for the CIA in the five years she was there. She was assigned all the top, high security missions and no one has ever been able to get anywhere near the level JJ was at since.” James finished. He didn’t want the blond to be unappreciated. She was a modest person who didn’t think highly of herself but to James she was remarkable and he wanted her to get the admiration she deserved. 

“You’re serious?” Reid stammered. Not quite believing the woman who had become like a sister to him was the top agent in the CIA. 

“No, he’s just exaggerating.” JJ said with an eye roll.

“Oh yeah, I’m serious.” James replied to Reid. “JJ, I’m not exaggerating, do you know what they call you around the HQ in Langley, Virginia?” James asked as they others listened. At   
JJ’s silence he continued. “They call you The Ghost.” 

JJ burst out laughing. “Seriously, The Ghost, I’m not a video game character.” she laughed disbelievingly. 

“Seriously, very few people have ever seen your face and all everyone knows these days in the HQ is that there was a CIA agent a few years ago who was the best of the best and nicknamed The Ghost because no one knew his or her name.” James said with a serious expression on his face, trying to convince JJ that she really is an extraordinary person.

“That’s…wow.” Garcia said in awe. 

“Yeah, that unbelievable JJ.” Emily said impressed.

The others nodded in agreement. 

“I really wasn’t as great as he’s saying.” JJ managed to stutter out. She was confused about all of this. She knew she was a good agent but she never thought that she was that amazing.

“JJ, you were absolutely amazing. I worked with you for 3 months so I should know. You don’t give yourself enough credit.” James said with a smile. JJ blushed. 

“Ok, I see you still don’t believe how great you are.” James said and the team watching the pair in awe. He turned back to the team. 

“Ok, you know every agent no matter what agency, has their speciality, the one or two things they’re brilliant at?” James asked the team. They all nodded, intrigued by the whole   
conversation and impressed at their blond profiler. 

JJ could feel her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. ‘They didn’t need to know all of this.’ she thought. James was obviously on a mission though so she just sat back with a sigh.

“JJ’s speciality is everything.” The team looked back at James confused. “Stealth, guns, explosives, poisons, knives/blades, hand-to-hand combat, infiltration, seduction, deception, mind-body control, languages, assassinations, equipment handling, eidetic memory skills, medical training, survival skills, escape & evade techniques and manipulation are all of her specialities.” James finished as JJ looked down embarrassed and worried how the team would take this. 

The team and other agents were once again stunned into a silence.


	9. The Mission and Mysterious Phone Calls

“That is so FREAKING AWESOME!” Garcia exclaimed in awe.

JJ laughed in response as the other chuckled.

“Yeah, you really are amazing JJ.” agreed Emily.

JJ blushed. “I’m really not Em.”

“Uhh, yeah you are.” Morgan stated as if it was obvious as JJ blushed even more.

Sensing JJ’s discomfort, Hotch interrupted. “Guys why don’t we re group in 30 minutes. We’ll talk to JJ and James about their mission and see if they know anything that can help us.” 

JJ was internally grateful for the interruption, she really needed a break. This whole situation was overwhelming her. 

The group agreed and soon left the room, Hotch stayed behind along with JJ. JJ released a huge breath she didn’t realise she had been holding and closed her eyes as they left, momentarily forgetting Hotch was there. Hotch studied her face and noticed the exhaustion around her eyes and how she looked slightly thinner than normal. Hotch made his   
way over to the blond.

“Hey.” he said softly placing his hands on her shoulders making her open her eyes. “How are you doing?” he asked gently, rubbing her upper arms soothingly. 

JJ leaned into his touch and let out a small laugh before replying. “You’re supposed to resent me right now, not be comforting me.” she said confused.

“Like I already said, I could never hate you.” Hotch said softly pulling her into his arms. 

She relaxed into his embrace quickly and sighed softly, forgetting about this whole mess, if only for a few moments. 

“It couldn’t have been easy for you.” he paused. “Revealing your past like that.” Hotch added holding her tighter. “You must be overwhelmed.” he finished.

She thought about telling him she was fine but realised that wouldn’t work. “You can always read me well.” she chuckled. “Yes, I’ll be honest, I’m overwhelmed. I thought everyone   
would hate me but they’ve been so supportive even though I can still see the hurt in their eyes.” she said sadly. 

“That’ll pass in time. They just need to process how you’re a bad ass spy.” he uncharacteristically grinned trying to lighten the mood. 

She stepped back slightly and looked up at him. “You always know how to make me feel better Aaron.” She cupped the side of his face and traced his cheekbone with her thumb. 

“Thank you and I’m sorry if you’re hurt right now, I never wanted to hurt you.” 

“Like I said it’ll pass.” he mirrored her actions by cupping her face and wrapping his arm around her waist holding her tight against him. “I really want to kiss you right now.” he murmured softly inching his lips towards hers. 

“Me too” she replied just as their lips were about to meet, a sharp shrill rang out through the room as JJ’s phone rang. She pulled away slightly and sighed as she read the caller ID.

“Just leave it.” Hotch said in a slightly whiney tone. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t it’s important. Excuse me.” She replied sadly and walked out of the room. 

\-----

“Jareau, not secure.” she answered the phone glancing around at some of the other agents walking around. 

“I heard about your current situation you’re in. Can you still complete you’re assignment?” asked the man on the phone. 

“Yes, sir. It shouldn’t be a problem. Is the assignment not in Washington anyway sir?” replied JJ, being careful to keep her voice quiet.

“Yes, that’s correct. I was just double-checking with everything that’s happened.” the man replied with a hint of protectiveness in his tone.

“You know me sir, never one to back down from an assignment.” JJ smirked slightly on the phone.

The man chuckled slightly. “Ok, very well. Complete your assignment tonight. I want it wrapped up by 6am tomorrow morning.” the man said and the phone call was disconnected.

JJ glanced back into the small room where the team and other agents were gathered. She felt bad now about keeping this from them but it was the only way.

\----

JJ entered the room and all eyes were on her. 

“Ok, let’s get this over with, what do you want to know?” JJ asked slightly irritated. She was only irritated because she knew with this assignment she wouldn’t be sleeping much if   
at all tonight.

Some of the team raised an eyebrow at her tone. 

“Sorry, just tired.” she offered them a weak smile. “Let’s get started.”

The team looked sceptical but continued anyway.

“Just start from the beginning.” Hotch said as they all listened.

“Well, Hamba, Hosi and Lafar were the leaders of this particular Al-Qaeda group. Their main base of operations was Afghanistan. However they moved around a lot, to stay in contact with other groups. I followed them secretly for the first 2 months of my mission gathering intel. I followed them to Yemen, Somalia and Algeria as well as a few other places.” she paused looking around the room. “After that, I started infiltrating my way into the group.” she shrugged like it was no big deal. “I also built a profile of the leaders if you want to hear it later.” 

“A profile?” Morgan wondered.

“Yeah, I was actually a trained profiler back then. That’s why I could input in cases back when I was a media liaison before I took the profiling exam.”

“Wait, so all those classes I got you into were actually a waste of time.” Rossi asked annoyed.

Realising he was annoyed, JJ quickly explained. “No, I needed to brush up on my skills anyway, so it was good for me.” she smiled and Rossi relaxed not quite as worked up.

“JJ, you said you infiltrated the group?” Morgan asked. JJ nodded slowly wondering where this was going. “Did you seduce them and sleep with them?” Morgan asked quickly as he looked down.

JJ looked back shocked. “God, no! This one didn’t require seduction to be used. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a few seduction missions where I’ve had to draw in a mark but I’ve never slept with anyone for a mission.” JJ said firmly.

“I’m sorry for asking JJ, it’s just-“ Morgan started but JJ cut him off. “It’s ok Morgan, I understand” she smiled to put him as ease. Morgan just nodded in reply. Sleeping with someone for a mission was something JJ believed agents should never have to do but most did but she never had to which she was thankful for. 

“What happened when you first started to infiltrate?” Emily asked. 

JJ swallowed hard. “Th-they didn’t trust me fully so th-they tortured me for a month to find out if I was lying.” she stuttered slightly shaking her head as she remember what happened in those horrific 4 weeks. She heard Garcia and Reid gasp loudly and the other agent shaking their heads in disgust at the men. JJ cleared her throat to regain her composure and continued. “After they realised I wasn’t going to talk, they injected me with truth serum to find out if I was lying but I was trained to withstand truth serum so they eventually believed I was on their side.” she said. 

JJ looked around at the faces of sympathy and some of pity which she hated. “Look, I don’t want your pity, I’m fine.” she nearly growled.

“How did you hold out so long with the torture though?” Reid asked quietly. 

“During my CIA training I was trained to withstand all types of torture just like the truth serum.” JJ replied. 

“Oh.” was all Reid could say, I mean what could he say?

Hotch felt his insides churning thinking about the woman he was pretty sure he loved go through that. His heart clenched for her. 

“These bastards are probably coming for you JJ, you’re in danger.” Morgan growled.

JJ shook her head. “I don’t think so.” At their curious glances she continued. “When the CIA finally arrested them, I was arrested alongside them to protect my cover so they wouldn’t know how the CIA found them. I rode in the same van as them to the prison. It wasn’t until we got to the prison and into the cells that I was taken out secretly. So as far as they know I either escaped, was transferred or was simply let out.” 

“Ok, so what does James have to do with this?” Garcia asked.

JJ smiled slighty. “I contacted him over the phone regularly, informing him of any terrorist plots they had planned so they could be foiled before any damage was done. He also fed   
me any intel I needed to know for the mission.”

The team and other agents just digested the information they had been given. They then started to build a new profile. Suddenly JJ’s phone rang and she walked over to the corner of the room where she couldn’t be heard. 

“Jareau, not secure.” she said to the man on the other end of the phone.

“Jareau, your assignment can’t wait until tonight. I need it done as soon as possible. We have been given intel that Slovak plans to leave the country.” the man said clearly exasperated. 

“WHAT?!” she shouted down the phone causing the team and agents to draw their attention to her. She turned her back and quickly added “Sir” as a formality. 

“I know that’s what I said. I need it completed now. Slovak is far too dangerous to leave the country with a plane full of weapons.” he explained.

“I understand, sir.” JJ replied.

“Good luck.” he said with a hint of worry in his tone and disconnected the call.

JJ turned her attention back to those in the room who were watching her discreetly, but she noticed. 

“I’m sorry but I have to go.” JJ said quickly as she grabbed her bag and jacket hoping they wouldn’t ask too many questions. 

“What?” Hotch asked confused.

“I’m sorry, but it’s an emergency.” JJ said and rushed out the room leaving a room of stunned and confused agents behind her.


	10. Assignment

JJ manoeuvred her way through the streets of Washington, carefully blending in with others. She needed to use her stealth skills in this assignment if she was going to make it out alive. Slovak and his men were the type of people to shoot first and ask questions later. She reached the hotel and made her way to the elevator pushing the button to the 10th floor. She checked she had all her equipment at the ready. She pulled out her tranquiliser gun and made sure it was loaded. She knew Slovak had men doted around the floor so she had to stay alert.

The elevator reached the 10th floor and JJ stuck her foot out to keep the doors open. She popped her head out slightly checking how many targets were insight. Her moved arm out so she could get a good aim on the two men and then fired a tranquiliser dart each into their necks. Quickly, she ran out of the elevator and caught them both before they reached the ground as to not alert the other guards. 

Making her way around the corner of the hallway she spotted one guard pacing the hall. As he walked away from her she crouched down slightly and stealthily made her way along the wall. She positioned herself behind him and wrapped her arm around his neck and put a hand over his mouth, rendering him unconscious as he slid to the floor.   
JJ turned her head around another corner and saw two men guarding Slovak’s room. She shot her tranq gun at one of the men and as the other approached her, he managed to knock her tranq gun out of her hand and get a blow to her face. She returned the punch and sent a swift roundhouse kick to the side of his head knocking him out. ‘Not so smart now’ she thought to herself.

Hearing the noise outside two men quickly made their way out of the room guns drawn. JJ’s tranq gun was still on the floor and she didn’t have time to fetch it so thinking on her feet she bent down and speedily brought out two knives from her ankle holsters and threw them so they spun in the air and caught both the men in the chest sending them flying to the floor. 

Knowing she would need to get into Slovak’s room quickly in case he was destroying the Intel, she picked up her tranq gun, ran into the room. The room was only occupied by Slovak. He was there typing speedily on a laptop hoping to erase its contents no doubt, he was concentrating so much he didn’t even hear her enter, she quickly fired two tranq darts into the back of his neck and he slumped to the floor.

JJ checked the laptop making sure nothing had been destroyed and luckily it hadn’t. She made her way out of the room and downstairs, dialling a familiar number on her phone.

“How did it go?” the man asked immediately.

“5 men unconscious, 2 men dead, Slovak unconscious and laptop obtained intact. Assignment was a success, sir.” JJ replied smoothly.

“Good work Jareau, make your way to Lafayette Park, north bench. I will have one of my men collect the laptop. Codeword is rainstorm.” he said.

“Yes sir. From the looks of it the laptop contains the location of the plane full of weapons as well as the names of Slovaks men and contacts sir.” JJ informed the man. 

“Good work Jareau.” he repeated, praising her efforts and disconnected the call.

JJ made her way out of the hotel, walked casually along the streets double checking every now and then she wasn’t being tailed. JJ sat down on the bench in Lafayette Park and waited until the man made contact. She kept her hand on her tranq gun just in case. She tightened her grip on it when she saw a man approach her from the West. He sat down beside her holding a cup of coffee and carrying a newspaper. He opened the newspaper up.

“Rainstorm” he muttered.

“Rainstorm” she repeated coolly.

She gracefully stood up sliding the laptop along the bench towards him and gave him a quick nod before strolling away. 

\-----

It was 6pm when JJ made her way back to the hotel, she spotted the team in the restaurant and cursed under her breath when she realised she would have to come up with some sort of explanation. She managed to dodge them and make her way to the bar which was out of the team’s line of sight.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked clearly checking her out. JJ just rolled her eyes slightly.

“Scotch neat.” she replied. 

He just raised his eyebrows at her in question at the drink. “Sure thing” he said and winked before pouring her drink.

“Rough day?” he asked curious.

“Something like that.” JJ replied. It was at times like this that JJ wished she could just spill her guts about everything to someone who was totally impartial and neutral but she couldn’t do that. JJ took a gulp of her drink and closed her eyes as the liquid burned its way down her throat

Realising she wanted to be left alone the bartender made his way to the other end of the bar.

JJ thought about the two men she killed today. She knew they were extremely dangerous and clearly they tried to kill her but it still didn’t make it easier. That’s why she tended to prefer using tranq guns over guns with bullets. She had always been like that even since back in her CIA days. She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn’t hear the team come up behind her.

“Where the hell have you been all afternoon?” Hotch asked angrily.

JJ jumped in surprise and then swivelled around on the bar stool, scotch in hand. “Out?” she supplied weakly.

Hotch just glared at her. “Look, I had something urgent that needed taken care of.” JJ said, offering some sort of explanation.

“Pumpkin, you’re going to have to come up with something better than that.” Garcia said gently, she didn’t want to be too mad at JJ.

“I can’t say exactly, but it was urgent and important and if it could have waited I would have left it but it couldn’t.” JJ said simply hoping they would leave it at that.

Sensing the blond was desperate for it to be left alone, he changed the subject. “Scotch neat?” he asked with an eyebrow raised.

JJ just shrugged in response. It’s my drink.” she said smirking a little.

“You certainly are a mystery, Jennifer Jareau.” Rossi laughed. JJ just grinned playfully in response.

The rest of the team were still looking at her for an explanation. JJ sighed loudly. The team just watched as JJ downed the rest of her scotch easily and effortlessly and hopped off the stool. 

“I’m sorry guys, I wish I could say but I can’t, remember what I was telling you about earlier?” Seeing the team nod she continued. “Well it has something to do with that but that’s all I can say.” She said desperately.

“Ok, ok we get it JJ, you can’t tell us.” Reid said, still looking hurt.

“Sorry” she said as she smiled apologetically at them. “I’ll see you guys in the morning, 6 am right?” Hotch nodded. “Ok, well good night guys.” she said as she walked away leaving the team curious and worried.


	11. Interrogation

JJ made her way down to the hotel lobby at 6am the next morning. She was dressed to kill in a black long-sleeved top, tight black trousers and black leather boots. She spotted 

Morgan sitting alone and made his way over to him as they waited for the rest of the team.

“Morning” JJ greeted with a smile. JJ knew Morgan had always been quite protective of her, that was one of the reasons they butted heads in the past. Now, they had a great relationship, a huge mutual respect and unique friendship with one another. They had seen each other a lot more outside of work recently, especially going to and watching football games. 

“Morning Girl.” Morgan replied happy to get a moment alone with the blond profiler. “JJ can I speak with you quickly before the others come down.”

“Sure.” She said as they made their way over to the corner as not to be interrupted.

“I just want you to know, I’m not as angry as I was. I’ve had all night to think about some of the stuff you said. I know you did what you thought was best, I just get a bit protective over you. You’re like a sister to me, it kills me to think of something happening to you.” he said sadly thinking about the torture she had to endure undercover.

“I appreciate that Derek. You’re a great friend, probably now one of my best friends. It was hard for me to keep stuff from you and it’s hard that I’m still doing it.” JJ replied spotting the other members of the team on their way down. “Thank for understanding.” she said giving him a hug.

They broke apart when the team made their way over to them. “Everything ok?” Hotch asked concerned.

“Yeah, we’re good right Derek?” JJ said.

“Yeah, great.” Morgan replied with a smile and a knowing look to JJ.

“Good.” Hotch replied shortly. “Listen, I have some news so let’s get over to the headquarters and meet with the other agents.” They all nodded in reply and JJ was curious about the news.

\-----

As they entered the room James was there along with Agents Fray, Benson, West and Young.

“So what’s the news?” JJ asked impatiently.

“Agent Benson, called me earlier in the morning. Agents working through the night managed to locate and apprehend Hosi last night.” Hotch said and they team gasped slightly at the unexpected development.

“There have been various agents trying to break him but so far he’s just sat there in silence refusing to speak to anyone.” Agent West explained.

“What can you tell us about Hosi, Agent Jareau?” Agent Young asked desperate to find the other 2 terrorists.

JJ sighed recalling as much as she could about Hosi. “Well, Hamba was at the very top of the cell as the main leader. Hosi was his right hand man followed by Lafar.” JJ took a deep breath. “He was the one who tortured me.” JJ met the eyes of the team as she said. “He was jealous and strived to be in Hambas position, at the top, but it never happened. He is completely loyal to Al-Qaeda, he never fully trusted me, even after the torture and truth serum.” JJ shrugged. “I think I should take a crack at him.” JJ said casually.

“No way!” Morgan shouted protectively. 

JJ held up her hand to silence him. “Look, I can hand Hosi. It gives us the element of surprise. We can use this to our advantage. I’ll be able to crack him, I know his weaknesses.”

“JJ, I don’t think this is a good idea. I have to agree with Morgan.” Rossi said worried. 

“I think JJ is right. We understand you feel protective but this is the only way and you guys know it.” James said sadly addressing the team. “As much as I don’t want to send JJ in there, it has to happen.” James finished regretfully. 

The team hesitated but knew deep down JJ was right. Hotch groaned in frustration. “Ok, fine. But we’ll be watching the whole time. No arguments.” Hotch said firmly. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” JJ replied playfully. “Ok, lets go.”

\-----

JJ entered paused before she entered the interrogation room, well aware of the team and other agents watching behind the glass. JJ quickly controlled her emotions and got into her role as cold CIA spy. 

The team and other agents watched a fairly short man with short dark hair and goatee beard glance towards the door as JJ. Hosi wasn’t able to keep the look of shock off his face and stuttered for something to say.

JJ laughed tauntingly. “What’s the matter Hosi? Surprised to see me?” JJ asked pushing his buttons.

“Jessica!? Bu-but h-how?” he stuttered.

JJ laughed again and circled around him, the heels of her boots clipping the floor, making her presence known. 

“Oh, just a little thing called undercover.” JJ grinned evilly. 

“You betrayed us.” he hissed with hate and lunged towards her, JJ saw the attack coming and quickly spun him around and slammed him into the table, his face pressed hard against it. JJ took a quick glance towards the mirror and nodded that she had it under control. The agents behind, were watching in awe as JJ subdued the man and quickly caught on to her nod that she was fine. 

“Now, now Hosi. Don’t be like that.” she teased wickedly. Letting him go and shoved him towards the chair. “Now sit down.” she growled. “Don’t want you hurting yourself.” She finished faking concern to rile him up.

Hosi tried to regain his composure and get the upper hand as JJ circled around him again. 

“I know I couldn’t trust you years ago, it’s why I enjoyed our torture sessions so much.” Hosi grinned sadistically trying to intimidate the blond. He was not prepared for her reaction.

JJ laughed. “Oh Hosi, your torture was pathetic.” JJ chuckled. “Why do you think I never broke? You were weak. Still are.” she spat out, emasculating him. As he went to lung for her again JJ played her trump card. 

“How’s your wife?” JJ asked casually. Hosi froze in his tracks. JJ continued at his silence and pushed him back down into the chair. “I hear she just happened to live in America now.” 

JJ added. “She doesn’t know that her husband is a terrorist of course.” Hosi just stared back at her, his anger flaring. 

“Maybe, I should pay her a visit.” JJ shrugged. “I wonder how she would feel knowing her husband has killed hundreds of innocent men, women and children throughout his lifetime.” JJ said meeting his eyes as she stared him down. JJ knew his wife was one of his weaknesses and she planned to use it.

“N-no don’t tell h-her!” Hosi said desperately. 

“Oh, I won’t.” JJ shrugged. Hosi breathed a sigh of relief. “As long as you do something for me.” She finished.

The agents behind the glass were wondering where she was going with this. They had him talking and had enough to build a better profile, they didn’t need anything else. They continued to watch confused.

“I know Hamba came to Washington once for something important. I know that there was a meet with another big Al-Qaeda cell. I need to know where the meeting was in Washington.” JJ said getting straight to the point.

At his silence, JJ knew he wouldn’t talk with just the threat to tell his wife.

“f you don’t tell me, not only will you’re wife know but I will make sure when you go to prison everyone knows that you’re a terrorist.” JJ leaned down, palms flat on the table and narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you know what American prisoners think of terrorists in prison?” JJ asked lowering her voice. He gulped nervously. “Let’s just say…they hate traitors.” She half growled, half hissed at him to get her point across.

“Ok, ok!” he said defeated. JJ pulled out a piece of paper from her back pocket it and slammed it down on the table along with a pen. He quickly wrote the address down and JJ pocketed the information. 

“Have a good life in prison Hosi.” JJ said coldly as she left the room. 

\-----

JJ stood out in the hallway for a moment, took a deep breath and entered the room full of agents. She handed the piece of paper to Garcia. 

“Can you look the location up, please Garcia?” 

“Uh, yeah sure.” Garcia replied still in awe of the young woman before her. 

Morgan stepped up and placed a kiss on JJ’s forehead. “You did good girl.” He whispered knowing it must have been hard facing the man that tortured her. JJ smiled slightly in  
reply. 

“Why didn’t you tell us about Hamba being in Washington before?” Reid wondered and Rossi nodded in agreement. 

“Honestly, it didn’t come to me until I was about to go in there with Hosi, I decided to use it to my advantage…I have an idea.” JJ said. 

“Yeah?” Hotch prompted. He was impressed by JJ‘s skills in the interrogation room. She had really held her own and got them crucial information that they didn’t think they would  
get. 

“If we can locate the address and there’s a chance Hamba and Lafar are there. I think I should make contact with them and go back undercover.” JJ said firmly.


	12. Jareau In Charge

Before anyone could reply and protest another agent quickly entered the room.

“Sorry to interrupt but the Director of the CIA is on video conference requesting to speak with Agent Jareau and the rest of you.” the agent said. 

“Ok, thanks.” James replied politely.

They all made their way to the conference room. A man in his late 40s, with jet black hair and blue eyes greeted them on a huge monitor. 

“Agent Jareau, I heard you were back.” he smirked. “I hope all is well?” he asked

“Director Willows” JJ nodded curtly. “Everything is well.” she replied.

“I have to say, I was surprise to see you were in the FBI and actually working with other agents.” he said with humour in his eyes. The team and other agents just watched the exchange carefully.

“Yes, well…” JJ trailed off not really sure how to reply. 

“You know…” he paused. “The CIA could really be doing with an agent of your calibre back with us.” he said smugly. “Are you interested Jareau?” he finished. Willows obviously thought she would accept or at least consider the offer and the team just looked shocked that he would have to nerve to ask her in front of her team.

“No thank you Director, I am perfectly happy where I am.” JJ smirked and folded her arms across her chest. The rest of the room watched the confidence radiating from the blond and the smug smile fell from the Directors face. The team couldn’t help be relieved she had completely shot him down.

“Well, just think about.” he added, not giving up. “Anyway, where are we at? Jareau, you were the agent undercover, correct?” The Director asked.

“Yes, sir. I was just saying before you called that I should make contact with them again. I remember a warehouse they used in Washington once and I obtained the address there is a chance they could be there.” JJ said with a convincing tone in her voice.

“Good plan Agent Jareau. I am giving you are now in charge of this specific operation. Use all the agents in the room and outwith if you have to.” The Director said impressed that she hadn’t lost her ability to plan her missions. The team were finding it weird JJ being called Jareau since that name was rarely used. 

JJ hesitated slightly. “With all due respect sir, Agent Hotchner is in charge and he is the best person to lead this.” JJ said not wanting anyone to think she was taking over. 

“I disagree, you are the person for this Agent Jareau. I am sure Agent Hotchner is a good agent but you’re the best, certainly within the CIA, no one can doubt your ability. The decision is final. You lead the mission Jareau. Good luck and good to see you again.” Director Willows said as he cut the feed before she could protest again.

JJ sighed and turned to face the team hesitantly. Before she could speak, Hotch interrupted. 

“JJ, it’s fine. You can’t go against Director’s orders.” he said with an understanding smile, showing he wasn’t upset.

“Yeah, and we all wanna see Agent Jareau of the CIA in action.” Morgan said with a wink. 

JJ scoffed and punched Morgan playfully on the arm. “Shut up.” She muttered embarrassed. 

“Just for the record I don’t like the idea of you going undercover again.” Rossi said protectively as everyone nodded in agreement. 

“To be honest, me either. But I can do this, I need to do this.” JJ said confidently. The team just nodded reluctantly. 

“Right, so we better get to work then.” James said with a sad smile, also not liking that JJ was going undercover. 

Garcia interrupted. “The address is an unoccupied warehouse.”

JJ was hesitant on how to proceed. She could easily give them all orders and organise the mission but it was a matter of not wanting to boss her team around. Hotch seeming to understand, nodded slightly for her to continue. 

JJ took a slight breath then looked at them with determination in her eyes. “Ok, Agent West and Agent Young, I want you to stake out the warehouse for the rest of the day. Use thermal equipment and anything else that might help to locate any movement. And be discreet.” she emphasised at the end.

JJ paused for a second thinking of the next step. “Agent Fray, gather arrange 5 CIA snipers to be set up and positioned on surrounding buildings at around 17.30.” JJ said, thinking about back-up.

“Garcia, I need you to find out everything you can about that building. Entrances, exits, escape routes. Everything.” The teams breaths hitched at ‘escape routes’ and JJ noticed.   
“Don’t worry, just a precaution.” she added to put them at ease. 

“Emily, Morgan and Agent Benson, can you guys keep at Hosi, we need all the information we can. As you can see his wife is his weak spot, use that if you have to.” JJ said, not meeting Emily and Morgan’s eyes, she felt bad giving orders.

“Hotch, Rossi and Spence, can you work on the profiles. I’ll need all the information I can when I go in there.” JJ said as her eyes shifted down.

JJ looked up at James. “James, I need some undercover CIA equipment. Everything you can think of that is extremely discreet and unnoticeable. I’ll need a button camera and a good mic. These guys don’t miss anything so it can’t be anything obvious.” JJ said with confidence. James nodded in reply.

“Oh and Pen, I’ll also need new identities. I need them to think I’ve escaped from prison a couple of years back and have changed my last name but keep Jessica.” JJ said, thinking of every aspect and Garcia nodded.

She turned to them all. “I’ll make contact at 18.00. I need you all there, as well as the snipers, in nearby buildings and streets as back-up, just in case something goes wrong but I’m sure it won’t.” JJ finished with a small smile.

Everyone just watched in awe as JJ just dictated the whole mission.


	13. Preparation

Agent West and Agent Young entered the room at 17.00 to inform the team of their latest developments from the stakeout. JJ held up her hand to stop them speaking.

“I’m just going to get everyone else.” JJ said before walking off to gather everyone.

Once everyone was seated Agent West spoke. 

“There was movement in the warehouse. The thermal lens indicated that there are 3 people in the warehouse. They were already there when we got there and they haven’t left.” he said in a professional tone.

“Ok, good. That’s a start but it could be a coincidence.” JJ said mulling over the situation and the possibilities.

Garcia stepped forward and handed JJ some files. “Here’s your new identity. It’s pretty much the same as before except the name is now Jessica Evans.” Garcia said slightly proud of her work.

“Good job Pen, these should do the trick.” JJ replied and then turned to James.

“Here’s an outfit, a camera for you collar and mic for your belt.” he said passing her the objects.

“Oh” JJ said sheepishly before continuing. “I won’t be needing the outfit. I’ll just go with what I’m wearing.” The team eyed her tight black ensemble with the leather boots with curious looks.

It suddenly clicked in Emily’s head. “Wait! You planned to go back undercover whether we had Hosi or you the remembered the warehouse.” She exclaimed accusingly.

JJ looked away. “Well, yes. I knew we needed to speed up the investigation so I dressed for undercover work before I even knew about the Hosi situation. I planned to get back in contact by any means.” JJ said guiltily meeting their eyes.

They went to argue further but JJ silenced them. “Look we don’t have time for this, I have to get prepared.” JJ said. The team looked at her curious.

JJ sighed. “Jessica is cold, calculated and devious. I need to get into the role before I go there. I also need to finish reading up on the profile.” JJ said as she carefully attached the camera and mic.

Garcia typed away on a keyboard and suddenly the view from the small camera and the audio appeared on the screen.

“Ok, good. That’s one thing sorted. Agent Fray are the snipers ready to travel to the destination?” JJ asked. 

“U-uhh, y-yes ma’am, they should be ready to go.” he stuttered, slightly intimidated by the blond.

“Should be?” JJ questioned with a raised eyebrow. “They either are or they’re not.” JJ said firmly looking him directly in the eye.

“U-uh yes, they a-are ready.” Agent Fray managed to get out. The team and agents just looked on, amused at the man’s nervousness.

“Well good then.” JJ said with a smile and patted his shoulder.

“Oh, here’s a list of the entrances, exits and escape routes you asked for Jay.” Garcia said handing over a diagram.

JJ hummed softly looking at the paper. “Let’s see, one door for an entrance/exit and an escape route through the vents that leads outside. That’s not much.” JJ muttered and frowned slightly. “Anyway hopefully I won’t need that escape route.” JJ said grinning. The team just looked at her anxiously.

JJ grabbed her ankle holster with blades and attached it to her left ankle. She then took her thigh holster with knives, rolled up her trouser leg and attached it to her right thigh.

The other just watched in silence at the blond profiler. 

“What?” JJ shrugged.

“That was extremely hot!” James burst out. Everyone laughed and some nodded in agreement. Hotch scowled slightly but tried no to show it. 

“I need some sort of weapon if I can’t bring any guns.” JJ said.

“Well, they should work. You’re good with knives.” James grinned remembering her talents.

“I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or not.” JJ murmured under her breath. 

“Isn’t this a bit too risky, I mean you won’t be able to have any contact with us. Obviously we can hear you but you can’t hear us.” Rossi asked worried.  
“Yes, but-“ Agent Benson cut JJ’s reply off.

“Actually, I managed to get a hold of this.” Agent Benson said handing JJ a small, transparent, circular piece of foam. JJ looked at it curiously. “It’s a newly developed earpiece designed by the Secret Service, the normal earpieces were becoming too obvious for people to notice so this is an improved version.”

“Wow, this is impressive. Thanks, this should come in handy.” JJ said as she slipped the foam inside her ear. They tested out the audio devices and camera again to double check and everything was in working order. 

“Agent Jareau, I just got word that the snipers are almost there.” Agent Young informed her.

“Ok, let’s get going.” JJ said confidently before walking out of the room.


	14. The Warehouse

JJ made her way to the location whilst checking everyone’s positions.

“Snipers in position?” she asked through her mic.

“In position Agent Jareau.” The lead sniper replied firmly.

“BAU team in position?” JJ asked.

“In position JJ.” Hotch said.

“CIA agents in position?” JJ asked once again.

“In position Jareau.” James replied.

“Secret Service agents in position?” JJ asked finally.

“Yes ma’am.” An agent replied causing JJ to roll her eyes at the use of “ma’am”.

“Ok, I’m in position approaching the warehouse.” JJ said as she finally rounded the corner to the warehouse. JJ noticed the camera outside. She took a breath, calmed her breathing and knocked on the door. She could hear movement inside and after a few minutes she came face to face with Lafar. He had obviously seen her on the security camera as he didn’t seem shocked to see her.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” he asked angrily. “How did you know we’d be here?” he asked gripping her arm and dragging her inside. The team, agents and snipers listened to the conversation and watched as the camera showed a slim, handsome, tanned man come into view.

“Woah! Relax Lafar. I saw you guys had escaped on the news and remembered you used this place once so I thought I’d check it out.” JJ said as Lafar eyed her suspiciously.

“How the hell did you get out of jail?” Lafar asked accusingly. JJ knew she would have to sell this story for it work and for her cover not to be blown.

JJ shrugged. “I was transferring to another prison a couple of years back and a couple of thugs from gangs were also being transferred in the same van, they had an escape plan and I managed to get out during the whole thing.” JJ smirked.

“Jesus Jessica!” Lafar said running his hand over his face. 

“Oh and Lafar. You have five second to get your hand off me before I break your arm.” JJ said smirking getting into her role as Jessica of not taking shit from anyone. Lafar let go immediately. 

“Sorry, just wasn’t expecting you.” Lafar said still stunned. “C’mon Hamba is through here.” he added before walking down the short, narrow hall as JJ trailed behind him.

“Hamba, look who I found hanging around outside.” Lafar said. The team watched as an older man with jet black hair which was greying slightly can into view on JJ’s button camera. He clearly looked shocked yet unsurprised to see her. 

“Jess, well well well, long time no see. What’s been going on with you?” Hamba asked. Lafar gave him a rundown of her escape. JJ took in the surroundings of the dimly lit room filled with laptops, electronic equipment and other strange, suspicious devices.

“Well what have you been doing for the last couple of years?” Hamba asked.

“Just laying low waiting for an opportunity like this to come along.” JJ said replying to Hamba making it clear she wanted back in. Before he could reply a woman strolled into the room.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH DOING HERE?” she yelled before making a lunge for JJ. The team and agents watched as JJ flipped the woman over onto the concrete floor pressing her foot onto the side of her face keeping her pinned down. 

“Always a pleasure Sian.” JJ said smirking. “Try that shit again and I’ll break your fucking neck.” JJ hissed dangerously as she let her go and Sian scrambled to her feet. Sian looked between the 3 of them and scoffed disbelievingly.

“You can’t seriously be thinking about letting her in on this?” Sian shouted at Hamba.

“You’re on dangerous territory Sian, watch your mouth. She’s in on this if I say she’s in on this. It’ll be my decision, not yours.” Hamba said.

“In on what exactly?” JJ asked leaning back against the table coolly folding her arms across her chest.

“Just a little attack we’ve got planned, after all we did just escape we need to plan something.” Hamba grinned evilly before leaning back in his chair.

“You can’t trust her! I still don’t believe that bullshit about your family.” Sian scoffed and shook her head.

“I want revenge for my family after what the CIA did to them.” JJ said smoothly with a dark tone in her voice. “I still intend on getting that revenge.” She finished.

\-----

Meanwhile the team listened confused. 

“Garcia what is JJ talking about?” Hotch asked as he walked around the streets of DC maintaining his cover.

“Oh, JJ used the cover that the CIA blew up a motel in Texas where it was believed members of Al-Qaeda where hiding out but her parents and siblings were also staying there and died in the explosion and since then Jessica has been looking for revenge.” Garcia replied.

“Wow, good cover.” Hotch mumbled.

\-----

Back in the warehouse Sian was trying to convince Hamba and Lafar that Jessica wasn’t who she said she was.

“Look, I don’t care what you say Sian. Truth is Jessica was with us longer than you were and she proved to us that she could be trusted. That’s all you need to know.” Hamba said firmly. 

“Thanks Hamba. By the way where’s Hosi?” JJ asked as to not be suspicious.

“Ahh, you’re best friend.” Hamba said sarcastically. “I received word from one of my men that the authorities caught him. What a fuck-up he is, can’t do anything right.” Hamba grumbled and JJ raised an eyebrow. 

“What’s the plan now?” Lafar asked.

“Meet back here tomorrow at 4pm. We’ll go over specifics of the attack.” Hamba said dismissing them. 

“For the record, I don’t think you’re making the right decision bringing Jessica in on this.” Sian said repeating herself.

“Well you’re going have to stop being such a whiney little bitch and deal with it because I’m not going anywhere.” The team listened in amused and watch the other woman shrink under JJs dangerous gaze. “Oh, and if you try going for me again tomorrow you’ll see just how far my foot can go down your throat.” JJ finished smirking smugly. “See you tomorrow.” JJ said before making her exit. 

JJ made her way away from the warehouse before talking into her mic.

“Snipers and agents mission was a success. Stand down.” JJ said firmly before making her way back to meet everyone making sure she wasn’t being tailed on the way.


	15. Déjà Vu

JJ arrived back at the HQ to be greeted by her team and other agents.

“Well done JJ, you were very convincing; I think your cover is still intact.” Hotch said with the hint of a proud smile on his face which the others probably wouldn’t notice but she did. Before she had a chance to reply Director Willows appeared on the large screen on the wall.

“Good evening agents, how did it go Jareau? Although I’m pretty sure I don’t need to ask.” smirked Willows knowing the blondes mission would have been a total success. 

“Mission was a success sir. The warehouse was occupied by Hamba and Lafar, the third occupant that we saw through the infrared earlier was Sian Hayden.” JJ replied keeping her expression neutral which startled her team as they would have expected her to be more optimistic due to the success of the mission.

“I vaguely remember that name, she managed to slip away after the arrests?” Willows asked unfazed by JJ’s expression.

“Yeah, that her.” JJ replied shortly.

“What’s her story? What kind of relationship did you two have back then?” Willows asked.

JJ resisted the urge to laugh when she thought about what Sian was like back then and still is like judging on what she saw today. 

“She was always jealous, I seemed to be the number one person, aside from Hosi and Lafar, that Hamba would tell the specifics details of attacks they were planning. She didn’t and still doesn’t trust me. She tried to go for me again today.” This time JJ couldn’t hold back the laugh that escaped her lips.

Willows didn’t even need to ask her if she was ok, he knew she could take care of herself, so he went straight onto his next question. “What’s the next step?” he asked.

JJ cleared her throat slightly before replying. “Meeting back at the warehouse tomorrow at 1600 hours to go over specifics of an attack they’re planning.” JJ answered.

“Ok, good work everyone. Go ahead with the plan; you’re still in charge Jareau.” Willows cut the video feed before JJ even had the chance to protest.

“Ok guys, you might as well head back to the hotel, not much we can do here until tomorrow.” JJ nodded and dismissed the agents before turning back to her team. 

“Fancy some dinner guys?” Emily asked and they all nodded their heads in agreement, everyone except JJ.

“I’m just going to head up to my room.” JJ said. “Long day.” She added at the end to make it more believable. Truth was she just wanted to be alone.

“No problem JJ, you must be tired. Let’s go.” Hotch said as they left the building.

\-----

Arriving back at the hotel JJ said goodnight to the team before getting to her hotel room as fast as possible. As she entered her room she closed the door and leant back against it releasing a huge sigh. She walked over to the cabinet and got out a bottle of scotch before pouring herself a glass. She sank back into the black leather armchair which looked out onto the city of Washington. 

She wasn’t surprised that she had slipped back into her CIA undercover agent role so easily, however she was surprised at how much of a thrill it still was. She thought she had put this behind her but it still gave her as much exhilaration as it did back then. Maybe she was just kidding herself. ‘Maybe I’m still a cold, heartless spy and not this caring, comforting FBI agent I’ve convinced myself I am.’ She thought as she took a large gulp of scotch before pouring some more. 

The situation was causing her to feel a strange sense of déjà vu. Back then as a CIA agent, sitting on a chair after a mission, drinking scotch and looking out the window at the nightlife of whichever city she was in. She could easily walk out of the hotel room right now and go down stairs to the rest of her team who would surround her with warmth and love but she didn’t want to, she liked doing this and that scared her.


	16. Shoot To Kill

JJ was still awake at 2am, her mind still racing with thoughts. She jumped slightly when she heard the ringing of her cell phone blast through the room.

“Jareau.” JJ said firmly knowing who it was.

“Jareau, I need your help.” The man said urgently.

“What is it sir?” JJ asked already grabbing the equipment she was almost certain she needed.

“Slovak escaped.” The man said in a desperate voice and JJ couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped her. “We’ve had agents working for an hour trying to find him but we’ve come up with nothing. You’re the only option left Jareau.”

“No problem, sir. Already heading out.” JJ said calmly but her adrenaline was pumping as she locked the door to her hotel room.

“I’ll send you the Intel we managed to gather within the last hour but it’s not a lot. We only managed to get halfway through cracking the location code of the weapons before he escaped. He’ll most likely be there but we won’t be able to figure it out in time.” The man said disappointedly. He knew that if anyone could find him it would be Jareau but he was even starting to doubt that she could considering how little information they had on his whereabouts. “If you find him, shoot to kill Jareau.” the man finished with certainty.

“Yes, sir. Jareau, out.” She didn’t have time to wait for his reply before she hung up. She was too focused on her assignment. She scrolled through her tablet looking at the Intel as she rounded the corner of a street into an alleyway careful of watching eyes.

She saw the code just over halfway solved and realised she could probably solve the rest herself. She was extremely good at cracking codes if they had been started off. After 10 minutes of rapid thinking and typing on the tablet she came up with a set of co-ordinates which she typed into the GPS in hopes of giving her an accurate location.  
She found an abandoned car further down the alley and managed to get it started. She drove off to the destination that the co-ordinates provided which was 20 minutes away, which was closer than she thought it would be.

As she got closer the her destination she saw a small abandoned airstrip with grass surrounding it. She parked further away as to not arouse suspicion. She tucked a gun in the back of her trousers and in her ankle holster with another fully loaded in her hand. She crept around the fence which enclosed the airstrip but was careful not to be visible through the gaps. She could hear the rumbling of an engine and knew that this was where Slovak was. As she rounded a corner she found a fairly large gap in the fence. 

She looked through quickly to see Slovaks position. He had his back turned to her and was loading the plane with duffel bags and suitcases. She crept through the gap as stealthily and silently, keeping an eye on Slovak the whole time. She made her way towards him to get a better shooting distance, crouching slightly with her gun raised. She reached an appropriate distance to take the shot when her foot scuffed on an area of raised concrete alerting Slovaks attention.

She reacted quickly by firing a shot to the middle of his forehead but not before he could fire one before he hit the ground.  
JJ fell backwards hitting the concrete with a thud clutching her left shoulder. She cried out and gritted her teeth in pain. Realising she had been shot in the shoulder she began to panic slightly before realising the bullet was a through and through and sighing in relief. 

Suddenly remembering what had just transpired, she looked up to see Slovaks body lying still on the ground. She crawled over to his body to make sure he was dead before collapsing fully onto the ground putting as much pressure she could manage on her wound. Her breathing was laboured and heavy as she reached for the phone in her pocket and dialled a familiar number.

“Jareau? Update?” the man asked getting straight to business.

“A-assignment comple-“ JJ wheezed out.

“Jareau, what’s going on?” the man asked his voice getting higher slightly with concern.

“Sh-shot. F-f-fine.” JJ mumbled as her vision got blurry before seeing complete darkness.


	17. Broken Arm

JJ woke up in a daze several hours later. She blinked several times as a white ceiling came into focus and she went to sit up but she cried out in pain.

“Fuck!” she gritted her teeth as she kept attempting to pull herself up and get some idea of her surroundings and what exactly had happened.

“Careful.” A voice said.

JJ was on full alert as she realised she wasn’t alone but as the person came into view she couldn’t help show the shock on her face as she opened and closed her mouth a few times. The man handed her a glass of water before sitting down in the chair near JJ’s bed. JJ looked around and realised she was in her hotel room.

“Sir?” JJ asked her voice raspy. “What the hell’s going on?” JJ said, she couldn’t think of a better way to voice her thoughts. She was sure the man let a small chuckle escape him as she said it but she might have imagined it.

“You were shot.” he replied shortly. JJ quickly glanced down at her shoulder and she vaguely remembered the events that had transpired.

JJ nodded slowly. “What about Slovak?” she asked desperate to know if she had been successful.

“Dead.” The man replied approvingly.

“Good…why the hell are you here?” she didn’t mean to sound rude but they had never met before and it seemed strange he would come to see her.

“You phoned saying you had been shot.” He said and JJ nodded in understanding. “Well I couldn’t risk your cover in anyway by phoning an ambulance and getting you taken to hospital so two of my agents drove me to the GPS location from your phone. One of the agents had medical training and was able to treat you here.” The man said firmly but leaving something out.

“Ok, and that’s all?” JJ asked suspiciously.

“Well, you’re my best agent Jareau, had to see for myself that you were ok.” He finished and JJ looked almost baffled at the statement.

“Uhh, thanks?” JJ offered not sure what to say. She was still in shock that he was even here and she was meeting him.

“No problem, anyway I have to get going, peoples to see and all.” The man said as he went to leave the room.

“Wait, what do I tell my team?” JJ said gesturing to the gunshot wound, pointing out the obvious.

“You’ll think of something Jareau.” The man smirked. “Your medication is on the table.” He finished and JJ could only watch as he left the room with the two agents in tow.

JJ sat dumbfounded for a moment before leaning over to take the painkillers that were left as she felt the pain increasing. She still had another 2 hours before she had to meet with the team and she was grateful for that when she felt herself drifting off. Before she finally fell asleep all she could think was ‘what the fuck am I going to do?’

\-----

When JJ woke an hour later, she immediately noticed that the amount of pain she was in was a lot less than it was earlier but she felt as though she hadn’t slept at all. She struggled to get up into a sitting position and when she did she realised she would need help getting dressed with her arm in the sling. Before she could think about her predicament any further there was a gentle knock on the door.

“JJ” she heard Garcia’s voice filtered its way through the hotel room. 

“Err, just a minute Pen.” JJ shouted back. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” JJ said running her able hand anxiously through her hair. JJ used all her strength to stand up from the bed wincing as she did so. 

‘Ok, you fell last night and you broke your arm. That’s all there is to it’ JJ said to herself mentally but knowing the lame story probably wouldn’t work. 

Just as Garcia was about to knock again JJ opened the door. 

Garcia gasped loudly when she saw the sling on JJ’s arm and the exhaustion on her face. “Oh my god, Jay! What the hell happened to you?” Garcia asked her eyes full of concern as she stepped into the room.

JJ smiled at the amount of concern radiating from her friend. “I’m fine, honestly.” JJ said vaguely before expanding when she noticed Garica panic slightly. “Someone barged into me at the bottom of the stairs down at the lobby, I lost my balance and broke my arm.” JJ lied convincingly.

“Ohh gumdrop!” Garcia replied with sad eyes. “I never heard anything.” Garcia frowned, almost annoyed at herself for not being able to help her friend.

“It was at like 2am, you wouldn’t have.” JJ said trying to ease the hint of guilt she could see on Garcia’s face.

“Wait, why were you down there at that time?” Garcia asked curiously and slightly suspiciously.

‘Shit’ JJ thought. “Well, I couldn’t sleep.” JJ stated and when Garcia raised an eyebrow as to ask why JJ elaborated. “Nightmares.” was all JJ said and that wasn’t a total lie, she did get them. 

“Oh.” Garcia said sadly. “Why didn’t you get one of us to go with you to the hospital JJ?” Garcia asked the hurt evident in her voice. 

“It’s been a tough couple of days for everyone; I wanted you all to get a good night’s sleep with no interruptions.” JJ said which was also partly true. 

“Ok, but still you should have woken one of us JJ.” Garcia said her voice still laced with worry.

“Pen, I’m fine I promise.” JJ said as she kissed Garcia’s forehead trying to calm her down. “Can you grab me the painkillers over there please?” JJ said and Garcia was more than happy to be able to do something helpful.

“Thanks.” JJ smiled after she swallowed the pills. “I need a hand getting dressed, do you mind?” JJ asked.

“Of course not gumdrop.” Garcia smiled before helping JJ’s t-shirt over her head and as she did she saw a large white bandage at the top of her shoulder with the faintest hint of red showing through it and her eyes widened at the sight.

“JJ, if you just broke your arm why do you have a bandage on?” Garcia said her voice full of anxiety making JJ freeze.


	18. Secrets and Lies

JJ hesitated slightly before turning back around to Garcia and replying. “I scraped it when I fell, no big deal.” JJ said before turning around again.

Garcia sensed JJ’s hesitation though and knew she wasn’t telling the truth. “Oh, cut the crap JJ, why won’t you just tell me what actually happened?” Garcia said angrily but JJ could still hear the worry in her voice.

“Why don’t you just mind your own business?” JJ snapped looking Garcia in the eyes before her own eyes widened at what she had said to her friend. She looked into Garcia’s tear filled eyes. “Pen, I’m so so-“ JJ began but Garcia cut her off even angrier and more hurt than before.

“Save it JJ. Just tell me what the hell happened or I’m going to Hotch.” Garcia said to which JJ gulped.

“Ok, I need to sit down though.” JJ said as her vision became blurry and Garcia quickly helped her into a nearby chair. Even though she was mad at JJ, it didn’t mean she wouldn’t help her.

“I ran into some trouble last night.” JJ said as her vision became clearer and her head less dizzy. Garcia scowled at the vague explanation. “I had something I had to take care of, an order; I followed it and got hurt in the process.” 

Garcia frowned more concerned than angry now. “And by hurt you mean?” Garcia asked as she gestured to JJ’s arm.

“Um, don’t freak out.” JJ said hesitantly. “I was shot.” JJ finished warily.

“Oh my god!” Garcia gasped putting a hand over her mouth. “Are you ok?” she demanded.

“I’m fine, honestly, it was just a through and through in my shoulder.” JJ said trying to calm her friend but Garcia continued to look at JJ with worry and panic.

“Pen, I swear I’m fine. Compared to my other bullet wounds this one was pretty minor.” JJ Said trying to ease the tension but cringing when she realised she just made things worse at Garcia’s gasp.

“Ok, I shouldn’t have said that.” JJ said placing a hand over Garcia’s. JJ hesitated slightly. “You can’t tell the team Pen.” 

“What!” Garcia exclaimed. “You can’t expect me to keep this to myself JJ.” Garcia said shocked at JJ for asking her to do that.

“I know, I don’t want to have to ask you to do this Garcia but I have to protect you all. Please.” JJ pleaded feeling horrible but knowing in the long run it was the best thing to do. 

Garcia opened and closed her mouth a few times. She could see the desperation in her friend’s eyes and how much she wanted to protect them. 

“Please Pen?” JJ said panicking slightly. 

“Ok, ok. I’ll try but you know I’m no good with keeping secrets.” Garcia said softly trying to calm JJ’s anxiety.

JJ laughed and rolled her eyes. “Oh I know, but just try, that’s all I ask. Thank you.” JJ smiled slightly grateful for the support from her best friend.

“I’m here for you JJ, we all are, you don’t need to do this alone.” Garcia said bending down and placing a comforting hand on JJ’s shoulder.

JJ’s heart swelled with the care radiating from Garcia and she quickly swallowed down all the emotion that was threating to burst out of her. She couldn’t break down now. She just gave her friend and a tight hug to show her appreciation. 

\-----

Garcia managed to help JJ get dressed and they were on their way down to the lobby when Garcia pulled her back.

“We’ll say that I came to the hospital with you last night, that’ll make it more believable.” Garcia said to JJ, even though she didn’t want to the lie to the team, she trusted JJ to know it was for the best.

“Are you sure?” JJ frowned, she didn’t want Garcia to have to lie more than she had to.

Garcia just nodded. “Ok then. I love you Pen and thank you.” JJ said placing a kiss to Garcia’s cheek. 

“Ohh aren’t you the charmer.” Garcia giggled and JJ just rolled her eyes as they made their way downstairs.


	19. Fine

JJ and Garcia met the rest of the team down at the hotel lobby and all of their eyes widened in shock when they saw JJ's sling. They immediately started firing questions at her.

JJ just held up her hand to try and calm them down. "I'm fine." She said managing to look them in the eye. "I fell down those stairs during the night." JJ said motioning to the stairs they had just come down. "I went to the hospital." She finished. They all looked suspiciously at her until Garcia helped her friend out.

"JJ phoned me from down here and told me what happened and I went with her to the hospital." Garcia said as believably as she could. The team seemed to be less suspicious after that.

"Is it broken?" Morgan asked with a frown.

"No, just bruised and a slightly sprained." JJ said changing her earlier statement to Garcia that it was broken. She figured they wouldn't let her work if she said it was broken.

"Ok, if you need to leave at any point today JJ, just say." Hotch said the worry evident in his eyes.

"I'll be fine." JJ replied quickly. The rest of the team nodded seemingly accepting her story before they all made their way to the headquarters.

\-----

"What are we going to do about Hamba and Lafar? You're meeting them later JJ." Emily asked glancing at the rest of the team.

JJ just looked up from her file. "Nothing." She shrugged. "Everything stays the same."

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Reid asked wide eyed.

"I'll tell them what happened, that I sprained it or I'll spin some bullshit about being involved with something else." JJ said looking down at the file.

"Oh, yeah and what if it goes wrong, how can you protect yourself with a sprained arm?" Hotch asked his voice raised slightly due to the worry he was feeling.

JJ stood up angrily. "I can still handle myself." JJ said and at Hotch's scoff she continued. "I've complete missions with broken bones and bullet wounds." JJ faltered slightly and she saw Garcia look away. "I think I'll be fine with a sprained arm." JJ said cringing inside at the lies.

A phone ringing interrupted Hotch's reply and JJ quickly reached into her pocket knowing it was the phone she told Hamba to call her on if he needed her. JJ put up her finger to silence the team's murmurings and motioned for Garcia to trace and record the call.

"Walsh." She said into the phone.

"Ah, Jessica, I was beginning to think you gave us a wrong number or you had backed out." Hamba voice floated over the speakers on Garcia's computers.

JJ scoffed easily slipping into the role of Jessica. "When have you ever known me to back out of anything?" JJ replied icily.

"True." Hamba chuckled. "Anyway, change of plan, I have something to take care off. I'll call you when we rearrange the next meeting." Hamba said.

"What kind of something?" JJ replied casually, ignoring the team's sighs of relief that she wouldn't be meeting them later.

"None of your business." Hamba replied shortly, his tone sharp.

"Ok, fine. Phone me when you arrange the next meeting." JJ said keeping her voice just as sharp as she hung up the phone.

She turned to the team. "Meeting's off." JJ said even though they had probably gathered that from the phone conversation.

JJ met Hotch's eyes and they both said a silent apology to each other knowing their disagreement was over now.

\-----

JJ was on edge for the next few hours. Her wound was causing her pain and she didn't want the team to suspect anything. She made her way to the bathroom and splashed some water over her face. "Get it together, Jareau." She whispered as she looked at herself in the mirror. She jumped when the door opened and Garcia walked.

"Are you ok sugarplum?" Garcia asked softly. She had been keeping an eye on JJ all day to make sure she was ok and it was clear she wasn't.

"I'm fine." JJ said defensively making Garcia hesitate.

"You can talk to me JJ." Garcia said trying another attempt at getting JJ to open up about what she was feeling.

"I said, I'm fine." JJ replied gritting her teeth before storming out the bathroom. She leaned against the wall feeling worse than ever. She hated the way she kept pushing people away, especially Garcia. She kept hurting her but she had to protect her now that she knew more than the others.

She was slipping so easily into the behaviour of her CIA days and it almost annoyed her how easily it was happening. Back then she could hurt anyone without really caring but now the fact that she was hurting the team, absolutely shattered her.

\-----

The rest of the day was uneventful and before JJ knew it she was back in her hotel room alone with another glass of scotch in her hands, just like most nights.

All day she had felt the tension building inside her. She didn't know if it was because she was lying to the team, or the fact she could manipulate everyone so easily just like when she was a spy or the fact she had gotten Garcia involved which left her less protected. She had gotten her best friend involved in her mess and that broke her knowing she couldn't fully protect her now. She was angry at herself for that.

The mixture of the alcohol she had consumed and the anger at herself suddenly made her launch her nearly empty glass of scotch at the wall. She watched as it smashed to pieces and the liquid ran down the wall.

"Fuck!" JJ let out a scream before collapsing into the chair. She needed something to numb all of this, she couldn't deal with these emotions. She picked up her phone that was lying on the table and dialled a number that hoped could help.

"It's me. Can you come up?" JJ asked the other person down the phone and they were quick to comply.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door and JJ quickly downed another glass of scotch and made her way over to open the door.

"What's up, are you-" the man at the door didn't even get the chance to finish speaking before JJ dragged him into the room, pushed him against the door and smashed their lips together.


	20. Code Red

JJ didn’t know who pulled back first but suddenly they were standing back from each other looking at each other for answers.

“What the hell JJ?” the man said, his voice raised slightly.

“I know, I’m sorry James.” JJ said shaking her head in disgust at herself. She felt the tears building at the corner of her eyes but she forced them away.

James just sighed looking at the blonde agent. “Look, don’t be sorry, I’m just worried.” 

JJ almost flinched at the softness of his voice. He had feelings for her and she had tried to use him. It was fine to do that years ago because they were both using each other and no one was getting hurt but now it was different. 

“I’m still sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” JJ said not able to look him in the eye. “I’m fine, you don’t have to worry.”

“I know you’re not.” James said giving her a knowing look. “We may not have worked together long but I know when something’s not right.” James said stepping towards her. “Just talk to someone, if not me, then anyone. Please.” James said almost begging JJ. He was scared what she would do with all of these emotions built up.

“I’ve talked to Pen a bit.” JJ shrugged, looking away.

James sighed knowing he wouldn’t get anywhere. “Why’d you stop?” James said referring to the kiss, out of curiosity. JJ just shrugged her shoulders. “Was it because of your boss?” James asked knowingly.

“What?” JJ squeaked. 

“Come on JJ, I see the way he looks at you! He’s in love with you.” James said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. JJ just stared at him, dumbfounded. Hotch didn’t love her, he couldn’t. 

“How do you know?” JJ managed to get out.

“Because, the way I look at you, he looks at you like that 1000 times more.” James said with a smile. James wasn’t sure if he loved JJ or not, he was pretty sure he just had feelings for her. But then again, he was taught not to fall in love so he probably wouldn’t know how to distinguish between being in love and having feelings for someone. That didn’t mean he couldn’t see the love for JJ that her boss had though. 

JJ just stared at him, shocked once again. She couldn’t believe it. 

“Do you love him?” James asked smirking because he knew the answer.

“Spies don’t fall in love James.” JJ said before turning away reaching for the bottle of scotch.

“That’s not what I asked.” James replied. “And don’t you think you’ve had enough of that?” motioning to the half empty bottle and the smashed glass.

“Nope.” JJ said with no room for argument, ignoring his earlier statement before pouring two glasses and passing one to James. They sat down on the couch next to each other in a comfortable silence. A few minutes passed when James spoke up.

“You’re not a spy anymore.” James said pointing out the obvious.

“What?” JJ asked confused at the statement.

“You said ‘spies don’t fall in love’, you aren’t one anymore.” James said with a slight smirk. He really just wanted JJ to be happy and she would be happier with Hotch than she would be with him.

JJ rolled her eyes but she let a small smile appear on her face. “I think it’s time for you to be going now.” JJ said standing up. 

James laughed. “Ok, ok.” He said putting his hands up in defence. “I’ll go.” He opened his arms out for JJ to hug and she accepted.

She hugged him tight around his waist and laid her head on his chest for a few seconds, relishing the comfort his arms provided. 

“Thanks James.” JJ said kissing his cheek in a friendly manner before stepping back. James just nodded; glad he had made her feel better.

“Think about what I said.” He said giving JJ a look before leaving the room.

JJ leaned against the door, breathing in and out. She already felt better.

\-----

JJ was woken by a loud shrill from her phone. JJ sat up to answer.

“Shit.” JJ hissed as the pain shot through her shoulder. 

“Jareau.” JJ said gritting her teeth due to the pain. 

“Code red Jareau.” The man said on the other end his voice calm but there was slight panic evident.

JJ’s eyes widened. She was in danger, possibly immediate danger. 

“Sir?” JJ questioned before rushing as quickly as she could with her injury to gather her weapons and equipment.

“We have intel that a few of Slovak’s employees have nearly figured out your identity. They’ve pieced together some information and they’re close to finding out your job with the FBI and you’re current undercover work with Hamba and Lafar.” The man explained. 

JJ’s heart started beating fast and she could feel her hand shake. The whole team could be in danger because of this.

“They haven’t quite worked it out yet but it’s only a matter of time…hours to be precise. You’re too valuable to us; we can’t have your identity at risk or your life. And it could affect all your successful assignments, meaning criminals could walk free.” The man said quickly. “Take them out. I’ll send you their profiles and locations. Good luck.” He finished quickly before hanging up, not giving JJ the chance to reply. 

A few moments later the profiles of her targets appeared on her tablet. There were four of them, three men and a woman. They were all at the same location, her eyes widen in shock, another warehouse a few blocks away from the one Hamba had been operating. ‘Oh god, they’re closer than I thought.’ JJ thought to herself before taking a few deep breaths and calming herself down. She gathered the rest of her equipment including her sniper rifle, put her black coat on with much difficulty and swallowed two of her painkillers before heading off into the night.


	21. Sniper

JJ made her way skilfully thought the back streets of buildings, manoeuvring her way through alleys and narrow streets. 

Glancing down at the GPS she noticed her targets were still in at the same place. Reaching the vicinity of the warehouse area, she scanned the buildings for a concealed position to take down the targets. She spotted a tall hotel a few streets away from the warehouse but she calculated that it was still in the line of sight. 

As she reached the hotel she crept her way around the side of the building towards the back entrance which was deserted. She cracked the security code on the back door with ease and shut the door quietly as she entered the building.

She done a quick check of her surroundings in the empty hallway and noticed a security camera directly above her. She was still unseen to the camera but she needed to pass it to go up the stairs. She pulled out her other phone from her pocket before hacking the feed and setting it on a loop. 

Silently, she made her way up the stairs and when she reached the last floor she realised there was no stairs leading straight to the roof. ‘Fuck’ JJ thought before opening to door onto the 20th floor. She saw the public bathroom and and immediately an idea came to her.

She entered the bathroom warily; making sure no one was there and jammed the door shut behind her. She walked towards the window and unlocked it easily. ‘I can fit through that.’ JJ thought as the window opened wide.   
With the rifle placed securely on her back, she placed one foot onto the outside edge. Her other followed with the top half of her body still inside the bathroom. Her right hand came out and reached onto the pipe next to her but she froze when she felt a pain in her shoulder. The painkillers had kicked in but there was still some discomfort. She breathed through the pain and her hand held onto the pipe. She looked up and noticed the roof was only a short distance. Her left hand came out to grip onto the same pipe. Her right foot pushed up onto a metal ledge and quickly the left for followed along with her hands which gripped tightly onto the edge of the roof. 

Using all the strength she could, she pushed the weight of her body off the metal ledge clinging to the roof’s edge and swung her legs over, landing with a small thud on the roof. Breathing heavily she sat up making her way to the other side of the roof to the front of the building. She could see the warehouse from her position and checked her GPS to make sure the targets were still there.

She attached the infrared scope, night vision scope and silencer to the sniper rifle and adjusted it to size. Lying on her stomach, careful of her shoulder, she made sure the rifle was placed carefully on the bipod on the small ledge on the roof. JJ closed her eyes estimating the position and angle the rifle had to be at based on distance or the targets, wind velocity, wind direction and temperature. 

Adjusting her rifle, she saw her targets through the scope. Three of them were group together in the one place ‘ok, that’ll be easy’ JJ thought but the other one was at the opposite end of the room. ‘You can do it, you’ve got this.’ JJJ said to herself mentally. She slowed down her racing heartbeat and evened out her breathing, stilling her body. Finally, she checked the aim on the scope was in its correct position. She held her breath, exhaled, and fired, hitting the first target in the head with one shot. Before the two people surrounding the target could register what had happened, she had fired another two shots killing the both. She searched for her final target before spotting her making her way out of the building but before they did JJ held her breath, exhaled and fired again hitting them three times in the chest. 

JJ gathered her rifle placing it over her back quickly. She didn’t have to look back to know they were kill shots. She stayed low, making her way back over the other side of the roof. Climbing back down in the same manner she got up. Her adrenaline was pumping as she climbed through the bathroom window, rushing to unlock the door. She checked her phone making sure the security camera was still on a loop as she ran as fast as she could down the stairs. Even though she had used a silencer, it didn’t mean nobody hadn’t heard or saw anything. If someone were to call 911 and report something, the calls were supposed to be intercepted anyway but JJ didn’t trust that system either.   
As soon as she exited the building she slowed down her pace back to normal and made her way back to the hotel.

\-----

JJ breathed a sigh of relief as she entered her hotel room. ‘No gunshot wound this time, that’s always a plus’ JJ thought as she placed all her equipment back in the cupboard. Her adrenaline was still pumping as she stripped down into her underwear and into bed. She only had a couple of hours until she had to be awake so she figured she’d be as well staying up. 

She stared up at the ceiling wide awake. She already felt better than earlier, probably down to James and her unexpected assignment. She was pretty sure that having her life in danger wasn’t supposed to make her feel better. JJ sighed at her mess of a life before unexpectedly drifting off to sleep with James’ words still in the back of her head.


	22. It Could Change Everything

JJ woke an hour later after having a restless sleep. She sighed at how tired she was and winced as she felt a pain in her shoulder. She had forgotten to take her painkillers again before she went to sleep; she quickly swallowed a couple before her phone rang.

“Jareau.” she answered

“Status, Jareau?” the man said anxiously.

“Code red over, assignment successful, and four dead, sir.” JJ said confidently down the phone.

The man couldn’t help but breathe a small sigh of relief. “Good work. Not more gunshot wounds?” he teased slightly.

JJ rolled her eyes. “Nope, I’m all good, sir.” JJ said smiling a little.

“Good. I’ll call you within the next week with your next assignment.” The man said before hanging up.

JJ didn’t normally care how much of a break she got between assignments but honestly, she was exhausted so she was hoping for a few days break from it. 

She got dressed as quickly as she could before heading down to the hotel lobby to meet the team. She noticed that Hotch was there. She swallowed the lump in her throat and made her way over to him.

“Morning.” JJ said cheerfully, with a pained smiled. She felt so guilty with what had happened with James last night, even though she shouldn’t. It wasn’t like her and Hotch were in a relationship and she had cheated on him. But still, JJ couldn’t help feel that she had betrayed him in some way.

“Morning JJ, you look tired.” Hotch frowned with concern.

“Geez, thank Hotch, you know how to make a girl feel special.” JJ teased, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

Hotch laughed knowing she was teasing. “Seriously, are you ok?” Hotch asked softly, becoming more serious again.

JJ immediately became defensive. “I’m fine.” JJ snapped her tone cold but she regretted it when she saw the slight hurt the flashed across her boss’s face. 

“I’m sorry.” JJ apologised. “I am fine though, just a little tired.” JJ said being slightly honest with him.

Hotch nodded. “Ok, well if you need to talk-.” Hotch offered just like he had many times before.

JJ cut him off. “Yeah, I know, I’ll come and find you.” JJ said gratefully.

Hotch cleared his throat and broke the silence forming between them. “How’s the arm?” Hotch asked.

“Not bad.” JJ nodded and quickly changed the subject not wanting to have to lie to him anymore than she had too.

“How’s Jack?” JJ asked genuinely.

“He’s good; he misses his Aunt JJ though.” Hotch said knowing she hadn’t seen him in a while. 

“Yeah, sorry I haven’t visited, I’ve been busy.” JJ said thinking about all her assignments. “I’ll come round and see him after this case.” JJ said, half asking.

“Yeah, that’d be good. He’ll be excited.” Hotch said, referring to Jack but knowing he was also talking about himself.

The conversation was stopped from going any further when the rest of the team made their way down the stairs and they all headed off to the headquarters. 

\-----

The team and the rest of the agents had been working for a few hours when the CIA symbol flashed up on the large screen on the wall and the Director Willows face appeared.

“Agents.” Willows addressed. “Agent Jareau.” He said making JJ stand up.

“Sir?” JJ questioned.

“Your cover has been found out, Sian Lumar pieced it together.” Willows said angrily.

“Are you bringing her in?” JJ said calmly, although she was panicking inside and the team were openly showing their panic.

“We can’t she’s being closely monitored by Hamba, they don’t trust her so she won’t be as easy to bring her in as it was with Hosi.” Willows explained. “According to out Intel she’s meeting Hamba tonight, we don’t have much time. You know what you need to do Jareau.” Willows stated as JJ’s eyes widened and the team looked confused.

“W-what? You mean?” JJ said questioned spluttering.

“Yes. Take her out, Jareau; I’m pretty sure you haven’t forgotten. We have some information on her whereabouts.” Willows said and the team looked shocked. He was right, she hadn’t forgotten, she was doing that very thing only hours ago. It was the fact the team would know what she was capable of that scared her.

“I want you all monitoring from here.” Willows stated, pointing to the team as well as James, Agent Fray and the three Secret Service agents. He disconnected the feed and the room was left in silence.

“W-what does he mean by take her out?” Garcia stuttered, wide eyed. 

“It means I have to kill her.” JJ murmured, looking away. “James can you go into my hotel room and grab my black bag out the cupboard, the larger one.” JJ said, handing him the key. He nodded in understanding, knowing what would be in there.

“JJ, we have to talk about this.” Reid said just as shocked as the rest of the team. 

“Look, I’m sorry you guys are going to have to see me…doing this. This is exactly why I kept it a secret.” JJ huffed. “You don’t have to watch it.” 

“No way, we’re watching it. We might not be able to stop this whole thing but at least we can have your back.” Morgan said confidently.

JJ nodded sceptical. “I appreciate that but you guys have to understand, what you see.” JJ paused and took a breath. “It could change everything.” JJ said trying to get them to understand. 

The team looked nervously at each other. “We understand, but we can handle it.” Rossi said hesitantly, JJ shook her head in disagreement before excusing herself and leaving the room. 

JJ made her way to the bathroom to try and gather herself and a few minutes later Emily walked.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re ok, because I’m pretty sure everyone has asked you that and you’ve answered with the same thing every time.” Emily said smirking knowingly making JJ laugh.

“They just don’t get it.” JJ said frustrated.

“You know after Doyle, it didn’t change their view on me.” Emily said.

JJ sighed. “I know. But they didn’t see that first hand. It was all through paperwork, documents and a few photos and you said yourself you were a different person back then. I’ll be doing this right in front of their eyes, which basically shows I am the same person as I was back then.” JJ unintentionally spilled out.

And Emily had no words for that.


End file.
